Now, I’m not ghetto by any means (OK, maybe by a little bit of means), but I, along with my friends and family, have gotten questions and comments before that would legit make me want to cut somebody. So, without further ado, here is a list of things to avoid asking or telling a black woman, unless you know you like bleeding profusely.
10. “There goes that black women attitude.”
No, just no. I don’t have a “black woman attitude". I am human. I get angry. When I get angry, I may or may not get a little sass. You generalizing this sass will not make me less sassy. It will only make me want to be sassier. So yeah, just don’t.
9. “You should perm your hair.” or “Your hair is so much prettier when it's straight.”
MY BLACK NAPPY HAIR IS PERFECT. You know why? Because I got it from God. If I chose to straighten it/perm it/look like Kunta Kinte/be bald-headed guess whose business that is? Mine.
8. “Can I touch your hair?”
Refer to “Don’t Touch My Hair” by Solange Knowles.
After listening to that song, the obvious answer is no. You cannot touch my hair upon first meeting me. You can barely touch my hair after 2 weeks of knowing me. If I am feeling generous and I do allow you to touch my hair, do not pet me. I am not an animal. I am a person with a right to personal space.
7. “Is that your real hair”?
I figure we might as well get these hair questions out the way. Whether this answer is yes or no is again none of your business. I bought it and I paid for it or grew it out my head, therefore it is mine. If I didn’t grow it out my head, trust me, it was real. Real expensive.
6. “What race are you??”
I am black. I am not Haitian or Dominican or African or any other thing besides black and you looking for something else to attribute my beauty to is insulting.
5. “You talk sooooo… white.”
I talk what? I talk like a color. Wow, didn’t know colors talked.
But seriously, this has got to go. I do not talk white, I am well-spoken and I am sick and tired of people equating being well-spoken (or anything else good for that matter) with Caucasians. The worst part is you hear this mostly in the black community. We have got to do better.
4. “Why is your name spelled like that?”
Nothing grinds my gears more than this. I don’t ask people why they spell Aaron with two A’s, because again, NOT MY BUSINESS. I am Alycee with two E’s at the end. Do not ask me or my mama or anybody else why my name is spelled like that. It just is. Deal with it.
3. “Can you teach me how to twerk?”
No. Get over it. Goodnight. (I can’t even twerk myself so yeah, that’s dead.)
2. “You don’t have to worry about getting into college. There’s affirmative action.”
Disrespectful; honestly, truly.
Seriously, someone told me this one time and I really wanted to fight. What gives you the right to decide that everything I worked hard for all my years in school doesn’t matter because I’m black? Being black isn’t the only reason I got into college. I got into college because I am magical. Point blank, period.
Last, but definitely not least…
1. These “For a black girl...” comments
I am not pretty for a black girl or smart for a black girl. I am pretty and I am smart. You adding these four words basically tells me that you believe I can’t compete with anyone else except black girls, which is the biggest lie I have ever heard. So yeah, I understand you’re trying to be nice, but don’t be an idiot.
The sad part is that I have experienced every one of these comments or questions and I’m sure my fellow black women have as well. I don’t make this list to be hateful. I’m just tired of the disrespect. Maybe having a list of things that disrespect will help someone around you not be disrespectful.That is all I ask.
