Top 5 Reasons Why Girls Should Wear Whatever They Want

Top 5 Reasons Why Girls Should Wear Whatever They Want

It is not a woman’s job to please your pecker with what she wears.
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Recently I read an article shared by a friend on Facebook. This article was written by a source that has been notorious for saying things that offend and degrade women, at least from the articles I have seen. Normally, I read the article to try and see what the author’s reasoning is for their views since not everyone has to have the same ideas. However, after reading this article, I was so disgusted with what I read that I had to respond. This is not to say that this article is the worst thing I have ever read nor is it the worst article that the site, Total Frat Move, has published.

The article in question (link at the bottom of this article!) is titled, Why Girls Should Stop Wearing High-Waisted Bikinis, and is written by someone called “The Therapist.” In the article, the author discusses “the fashion faux pas that is sweeping the female population:” high-waisted bikinis. He believes that the high-waisted bikini is matronly and difficult to pull off if you’re not a celebrity (because clearly all non-celebrities have terrible bodies). In addition to this, he argues that “your ass disappears in these things.”

As someone who is a strong believer in body positivity and plain old respect for others and their decisions that honestly do not affect you, I felt an obligation to write a response to this. This is not to say that this author is not entitled to his views, but I am also entitled to voice mine, just as every other person can speak on this. With that, here are the top five reasons why girls should wear whatever they want!

1. It is no one’s business!

Whatever your style is, it is your personal style, and it makes you happy. What others think of your choice in outfit or bikini is not relevant, as long as you are comfortable in what you’re wearing. Whether it is your outfit choices, your bodily decisions (i.e. sex, tattoos, etc.), or even your drinking/dietary habits, as long as no one is put in danger by your actions, then it should not matter to anyone else. In the words of Olive from the movie Easy A, “it is nobody’s god damn business.”

2. Women do not dress for men.

For some reason, this simple concept is ignored by a good amount of the population. Do men think of how to attract women as they put on their basketball shorts or Hanes tee shirts? Neither do women. We do not think “Oh no! This bikini is slightly more comfortable for me, and it does not show every inch of my body. How will a man find me attractive now?!” I know my thought process is usually, “Do I think I look good? Am I comfortable? Will I be hot/cold later? Is it going to rain? Do I match?” Nowhere in a woman’s thought process is the question of catching a man’s attention, especially since newsflash: NOT EVERY WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO MEN! In addition to that, not everyone is trying to get your sexual attention “The Therapist.”

3. Everyone is built differently.

Not every woman looks the same. Some of us have more cake than others, while some have more boobage, while others have neither. Some women have voluptuous curves, and others are less curvaceous. The beauty of this difference in body type is that everyone’s body is beautiful, so just because a woman is not thin like Taylor Swift does not mean that a woman with a different body type cannot rock a style.

4. Nothing is exclusive to celebrities.

Style is not exclusive to the Hollywood elite. Any woman can be as sexy as she wants if she so desires to. Whether or not you can masturbate to it later is honestly irrelevant. How she feels in her bikini is what really matters. You do not need loads of money to feel good in your body.

5. Supply and Demand, baby!

In addition all of these reasons, it is important to note why specialty clothing pieces, like high-waisted items were created. High-waisted clothing items (i.e. pants, shorts, bikinis) were created to fulfill a need in the market. I noticed these items came about after a long period when most of what was created by the fashion industry were things like low-rider jeans, and shorts that were so short that they were basically underwear on some.

Many women did not feel comfortable (because remember, what is important is how she feels in it) in clothes that revealed so much of the abdomen and lower back. I have to admit that I was one of those women craving something that made me feel comfortable and covered, so I am glad that there are finally styles of pants, shorts and bikinis that I feel sexy in.

Although there are many more reasons as to why not just girls, but everyone should wear whatever they want, these are the key reasons. I focused on women specifically in this, because women were the only ones targeted in the original article. If you’re interested in looking at the article that this is in response to, here is the link: http://totalfratmove.com/why-girls-should-stop-wearing-high-waisted-bikinis/

Cover Image Credit: Amanda Lambert (Flickr)

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Meditation Is Not A Perfect Practice, But It's Still Worth Your Time

You'll thank me later.

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I began doing yoga a few years ago, and I instantly loved it. The combination of stretching, mental relaxation, and emotional release is amazing. It creates a sense of zen and peace in my life that I can use during the stress that comes from school, work, and everyday life. But the one part of yoga that I am not in love with is the meditation aspect.

I absolutely dread meditation. I do not know what it is, but I can never quite seem to get my mind to quiet down. No matter how hard I try, there is always a million thoughts running through my brain. "Did I finish that homework assignment?" "Am I breathing too loud? Can other people hear me?" I become so focused on other things happening around me that I just can't seem to calm down and relax.

But meditation is not about just clearing your mind and going completely blank. It is about focusing on a single thought, object, or intention and just allowing those emotions and feelings to overcome you. Focusing on one intention in your life allows you to become focused and re-centered. Meditation is not a set in stone practice, it is adaptable based on each person's needs.

There are seven general types of meditation: loving-kindness meditation, body scanning meditation, mindfulness meditation, breath awareness meditation, kundalini yoga, Zen meditation, and transcendentalism meditation. Each of these general types can be adapted to fit ones specific needs in that time. All seven of these meditations offer stress release options to help with daily stressors and inconveniences.

There is no perfect way to meditate. Meditation can also be as simple as just closing your eyes and simply breathing for a few seconds while focusing on one important thing in your life to help you remain grounded. There is no one set meditation type that works for all people. Some people enjoy all of the forms or even several of them, while others such as myself strictly enjoy the body scanning meditation.

The body scanning meditation focuses on scanning the body for areas of tension and to encourage the release of tension in that part of the body. Once the release occurs, the whole body can begin to relax even more. It usually starts by focusing on the toes and relaxing then moving up the legs, the torso the arms to the fingertips, and all the way through to the tip of the head.

My ideal meditation type is not for everyone. Playing around with the different types of meditations is the best way to find an ideal type of meditation that fits what the body needs. Unlike with most things, practice doesn't make perfect. Practicing the art of meditation just helps to refine the overall calm and zen that is felt.

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