Top 5 Reasons Why Girls Should Wear Whatever They Want

Top 5 Reasons Why Girls Should Wear Whatever They Want

It is not a woman’s job to please your pecker with what she wears.
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Recently I read an article shared by a friend on Facebook. This article was written by a source that has been notorious for saying things that offend and degrade women, at least from the articles I have seen. Normally, I read the article to try and see what the author’s reasoning is for their views since not everyone has to have the same ideas. However, after reading this article, I was so disgusted with what I read that I had to respond. This is not to say that this article is the worst thing I have ever read nor is it the worst article that the site, Total Frat Move, has published.

The article in question (link at the bottom of this article!) is titled, Why Girls Should Stop Wearing High-Waisted Bikinis, and is written by someone called “The Therapist.” In the article, the author discusses “the fashion faux pas that is sweeping the female population:” high-waisted bikinis. He believes that the high-waisted bikini is matronly and difficult to pull off if you’re not a celebrity (because clearly all non-celebrities have terrible bodies). In addition to this, he argues that “your ass disappears in these things.”

As someone who is a strong believer in body positivity and plain old respect for others and their decisions that honestly do not affect you, I felt an obligation to write a response to this. This is not to say that this author is not entitled to his views, but I am also entitled to voice mine, just as every other person can speak on this. With that, here are the top five reasons why girls should wear whatever they want!

1. It is no one’s business!

Whatever your style is, it is your personal style, and it makes you happy. What others think of your choice in outfit or bikini is not relevant, as long as you are comfortable in what you’re wearing. Whether it is your outfit choices, your bodily decisions (i.e. sex, tattoos, etc.), or even your drinking/dietary habits, as long as no one is put in danger by your actions, then it should not matter to anyone else. In the words of Olive from the movie Easy A, “it is nobody’s god damn business.”

2. Women do not dress for men.

For some reason, this simple concept is ignored by a good amount of the population. Do men think of how to attract women as they put on their basketball shorts or Hanes tee shirts? Neither do women. We do not think “Oh no! This bikini is slightly more comfortable for me, and it does not show every inch of my body. How will a man find me attractive now?!” I know my thought process is usually, “Do I think I look good? Am I comfortable? Will I be hot/cold later? Is it going to rain? Do I match?” Nowhere in a woman’s thought process is the question of catching a man’s attention, especially since newsflash: NOT EVERY WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO MEN! In addition to that, not everyone is trying to get your sexual attention “The Therapist.”

3. Everyone is built differently.

Not every woman looks the same. Some of us have more cake than others, while some have more boobage, while others have neither. Some women have voluptuous curves, and others are less curvaceous. The beauty of this difference in body type is that everyone’s body is beautiful, so just because a woman is not thin like Taylor Swift does not mean that a woman with a different body type cannot rock a style.

4. Nothing is exclusive to celebrities.

Style is not exclusive to the Hollywood elite. Any woman can be as sexy as she wants if she so desires to. Whether or not you can masturbate to it later is honestly irrelevant. How she feels in her bikini is what really matters. You do not need loads of money to feel good in your body.

5. Supply and Demand, baby!

In addition all of these reasons, it is important to note why specialty clothing pieces, like high-waisted items were created. High-waisted clothing items (i.e. pants, shorts, bikinis) were created to fulfill a need in the market. I noticed these items came about after a long period when most of what was created by the fashion industry were things like low-rider jeans, and shorts that were so short that they were basically underwear on some.

Many women did not feel comfortable (because remember, what is important is how she feels in it) in clothes that revealed so much of the abdomen and lower back. I have to admit that I was one of those women craving something that made me feel comfortable and covered, so I am glad that there are finally styles of pants, shorts and bikinis that I feel sexy in.

Although there are many more reasons as to why not just girls, but everyone should wear whatever they want, these are the key reasons. I focused on women specifically in this, because women were the only ones targeted in the original article. If you’re interested in looking at the article that this is in response to, here is the link: http://totalfratmove.com/why-girls-should-stop-wearing-high-waisted-bikinis/

Cover Image Credit: Amanda Lambert (Flickr)

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To All The Nurses In The Making

We tell ourselves that one day it'll all pay off, but will it actually?
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I bet you’re taking a break from studying right now just to read this, aren’t you? Either at the library with friends or in your dorm room. Wherever you may be, you never get the chance to put your books down, at least that’s how it feels to most of us. It sucks feeling like you’ve chosen the hardest major in the world, especially when you see other students barely spending any time studying or doing school work. The exclamation “You’re still here!” is an all too frequent expression from fellow students after recognizing that you’ve spent 10-plus hours in the library. At first it didn’t seem so bad and you told yourself, “This isn’t so difficult, I can handle it,” but fast-forward a few months and you’re questioning if this is really what you want to do with your life.

You can’t keep track of the amount of mental breakdowns you’ve had, how much coffee you’ve consumed, or how many times you’ve called your mom to tell her that you’re dropping out. Nursing is no joke. Half the time it makes you want to go back and change your major, and the other half reminds you why you want to do this, and that is what gets you through it. The thing about being a nursing major is that despite all the difficult exams, labs and overwhelming hours of studying you do, you know that someday you might be the reason someone lives, and you can’t give up on that purpose. We all have our own reasons why we chose nursing -- everyone in your family is a nurse, it’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you’re good at it, or like me, you want to give back to what was given to you. Regardless of what your reasoning is, we all take the same classes, deal with the same professors, and we all have our moments.

I’ve found that groups of students in the same nursing program are like a big family who are unconditionally supportive of each other and offer advice when it’s needed the most. We think that every other college student around us has it so easy, but we know that is not necessarily true. Every major can prove difficult; we’re just a little harder on ourselves. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with your school work and you want to give up, give yourself a minute to imagine where you’ll be in five years -- somewhere in a hospital, taking vitals, and explaining to a patient that everything will be OK. Everything will be worth what we are going through to get to that exact moment.

Remember that the stress and worry about not getting at least a B+ on your anatomy exam is just a small blip of time in our journey; the hours and dedication suck, and it’s those moments that weed us out. Even our advisors tell us that it’s not easy, and they remind us to come up with a back-up plan. Well, I say that if you truly want to be a nurse one day, you must put in your dedication and hard work, study your ass off, stay organized, and you WILL become the nurse you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t let someone discourage you when they relent about how hard nursing is. Take it as motivation to show them that yeah, it is hard, but you know what, I made it through.

With everything you do, give 110 percent and never give up on yourself. If nursing is something that you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, stick with it and remember the lives you will be impacting someday.

SEE ALSO: Why Nursing School Is Different Than Any Other Major

Cover Image Credit: Kaylee O'Neal

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How A Podcast About Murder Helped My Mental Health

And a community that sprang forth became my lifeline.

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Sometimes I wonder what it's like to live without mental illness.

To wake up in the morning and feel secure in your body, your thoughts, your actions, and your relationships.

I don't have that luxury, and neither do 43.8 million Americans in any given year.

So why is it so easy to convince ourselves that we're alone?

I struggled with mental illness before my childhood trauma, which made me an easy target. The effects of my abuse magnified my genetic predisposition to mental health problems. Members from both sides of my family suffer from some type of mental illness. I would never want to offend any relatives of mine, so I won't disclose the number, but let's just say, it's a lot. As for my ancestors, I know a maternal great-grandfather hit my maternal grandfather, and the wife of the aforementioned great-grandfather was an agoraphobic. She mostly only drank tea and ate toast and was rail thin so it's not hard to reach the conclusion that she had an eating disorder.

I am very fortunate in that I grew up in a family who didn't hide from their mental health issues. My mom realized she had anxiety when she was in her very early 20's and was open about it - which for the 1980's was not common. She is the most genuine person I know, and part of that is because she doesn't pretend everything is always perfect.

So, even though my parents were always supportive through my struggles, pushing me to achieve my best while also assuring me that it was okay to take a mental health day from school from time to time, I still felt like I was the only one in the world that felt the way I did.

I won't bore you with the details, but most of my memories from my childhood have to do with anxiety, depression, food, and body issues. I remember telling my parents I had, "that lonely feeling again." Which, was the feeling of my heart in my stomach - the feeling of isolation and sadness and impending doom - something I still deal with today. One of my first words was "safe." I was convinced my parents would die in a car accident. I was five standing in a mirror calling myself fat, I was ten swearing an Oreo would be the last thing I would ever eat, I was eight hoarding food. I was seven, afraid I would crush the horse I was riding because of my weight. I was 12 the first time I made myself throw up.

Anxiety, depression and eating disorders have been woven into the fabric of my being. And working to untangle those threads is a daily struggle.

I'm a firm believer in therapy and medications if that is what's best for your journey. I don't believe in blanket diagnoses, or one size fits all meds. I was hospitalized three times in high school at an inpatient mental health facility, and for me, it didn't help. The final stay, after attempting suicide, journaling was my vehicle out of the darkest place I had been yet.

"I wrote my way out."

When I was 18, I found my way back to God. Recovering memories of being abused is brutal and with my history of mental illness, I don't know what I would have done if I had uncovered the abuse before June 14, 2017. I truly believe that God's timing is always perfect, and I had reached the point in my life where I was ready to receive my truth.

Two months after recovering the memories, I stumbled across a little Podcast called, My Favorite Murder. At that point, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark had been releasing episodes weekly for a little over a year and a half. I was hooked and binged the catalog of episodes.

Not only did it make me realize my love of true crime, but I found an amazing community of some of the most wonderful people I've never met.

What makes Karen and Georgia's Podcast so special isn't the crime. No, it's them. It's their authenticity, their rawness. Their openness about their struggles with addiction, anxiety, depression, body image issues, and their flaws. It's their championing of survivors of abuse and attacks, their support of women, and their dedication to End the Backlog (there are hundreds of thousands of rape kits untested, this organization helps fight that).

Although their opinions sometimes differ from mine, they've created this beautiful space of inclusiveness on the radical notion that as long as you're kind and respectful, you are welcome.

The main Facebook page has hundreds of thousands of followers and pretty early on, people started making spinoff groups, made up of Murderinos (MFM fans) for specific interests. Like apps, there's an MFM spinoff group for anything. From cat lovers to craft enthusiasts to local groups (heyyyy 'Here's the Thing, 518 Everybody') to religious groups (Looking at you 'Thou Shalt Not Murder!'). I joined the latter two groups and loved the little communities.

But then I thought, "Wow, I would really love to join a group for Survivors of abuse." To my surprise, there wasn't one.

I had reached a point in my healing journey that I needed to talk to people who knew what I was going through.

So, I shoved down my negative self-talk that told me no one would want to join a group I made and created a spinoff group.

And Survivorinos was born.

It's been four months since I clicked "create." In that time, we have almost 450 members and this past month I made three strong women moderators to help keep the community running.

For someone who writes a lot and often has (too much) to say, Survivorinos still has me at a loss for words. I started the group because I needed an outlet to vent things that I couldn't say to my friends or family. I needed to share intimate details of my life with people who understood. And what I found was a monumental revelation to me: so many other people needed the same thing.

This community is filled with nothing but love. In a world filled with negativity and fighting, this little corner of the Internet remains focused on helping their fellow man. The stories are heartbreaking, but the comments are uplifting. Love and prayers are sent, advice is given, and memes and animal pictures are abundant.

Now I can't imagine my life without Survivorinos.

Karen and Georgia say all the time how lucky they feel, that their Podcast has turned into this ever-expanding network of humans caring about one another. But it's us, the listeners, who should be thankful. I know I am. Because they took the leap and started this podcast, I found a group of people I didn't even know I needed.

Stay sexy, and keep destigmatizing mental illness and the effects of abuse.

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