Since a young age I always imagined what it would be like to get engaged and be able to tell everyone I know I've finally found my soulmate! I always pictured champagne popping, tears of joy flowing from friends and family, with celebrations and congratulations.
But we don't live in our imaginations.
This is reality.
When my husband and I got engaged we were 19 and planned on having a 2 year engagement. From the moment I made the "I'M ENGAGED" announcement on social media and to family and to family and friends, some (not all of course) reactions were everything but bubbly filled glasses and confetti poppers.
"Are you pregnant" HOLD UP WHAT. I just told you I get to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams and THATS your response..
"You're way too young, you haven't dated enough people to truly know what you want" Dated enough people? Is there a magic number of dates you have to go on that I don't know about? Plus, Dating in this day and age is a joke filled with swiping right, one night stands, and expectations that girls can FAR from reach.
"Marriages are so permanent, you need to move in and live together first to try it out" This was one of my favorite responses. A marriage isn't a car I needed to test drive to see if I liked before committing to. If I had any reservations at all I wouldn't have been dating him let alone agree to marry him!
"You have your whole life ahead of you, why rush you should wait a few years" *Rolls eyes*
"Most young marriages fail and end in divorce" I was even getting tagged in articles with statistics about this y'all.. no joke.
I am convinced I was born in the wrong generation. In todays society girls are looked at as objects, present themselves as objects, and put up this mirage of "I don't need a man". Now don't get me wrong, I am all about being an independent woman but when did we get to this point where love and feelings are such a bad thing. Today I get dirty looks and snobby responses when people see my wedding band and hear that I am married. The part that upsets me the most, is I know I am not alone. It's hard enough being the only married one of all your single college partying friends in a generation where everyone goes to the bars every weekend and feeling consistantly singled out because of it, but to also deal with the constant negative responses from other people and even strangers as if we are living a trapped lifestyle isn't something young wives (or anyone) should have to deal with.
Yes, I'd rather spend my Friday night with my hubby cuddled on the couch, laughing with each other, eating a dominos pizza and the best part is (God willing) I will have 70+ more years of those nights with him! The way I see it, I get more time in this life with my soulmate and the man of my dreams. Honestly if I could go back in time and meet him sooner, I would!!
So please, Next time you meet a young wife or engaged girl, before you judge, I urge you to take a step back and remember, we are all on different paths and journey's in this life. Just because someone's doesn't quite match up with yours or the "society norm" do not look down upon them or speak negatively of their decisions. Your criticism is the LAST thing we want or need.
For the young wives or soon to be young brides keep this in mind we just get to start our "forever" a heck of a lot earlier than most people. Although you may feel like the odd man out or the weird one, know you are not alone.
We are the lucky ones.
