When one thinks about a caring person, what comes to mind? Is it a person who gives where they can? A person who takes care of someone? Or maybe even a generous person who goes above and beyond in everything they do. But how often is it that we think of a person who cares too much? I mean caring is so simple, right? No one could possibly care TOO much. So how can a person like that even exist, and what all can be categorized under “caring too much?" Well along with the rest of us, I’m not completely sure there is a definite answer to that question. For the longest time I never even knew one could care TOO much. It’s ironic that one can be naïve about caring. Who would think that the simple spectrum of caring could be so in-depth, and how does one learn all about it? Well, let me share my story with you and how I learned that there’s more to caring than meets the eye.

Ever since I was little, I thought I knew what caring was and how to care for almost anyone. I mean, it was practically drilled into my brain. We all grew up being taught three famous words,” sharing is caring”, from the time we were toddlers to even our early teen years. So how can those three words be so misleading? As I grew up, I learned year by year that caring was not as simple, nor easy as those three words made it out to be. My parents would always tell me to be careful because I would sometimes share TOO much. I didn’t quite understand that fully until about a year ago. I am almost twenty years old and a sophomore in college. I am slowly starting to become less naïve daily. For the past four, almost five years, I have been struggling with a major learning lesson in my life. That learning lesson is called a relationship, or lack of one, depending on how you look at it. At a young age I fell in love. It was perfect when it first started, as they all are, but then it took a huge turn I wasn’t expecting. Six months in, he called the whole thing off and wouldn’t give me a reason why. I was completely heart broken. I had shared everything with him and gave him all I had. Trying to wrap my head around it all with absolutely no answer was so difficult. Months down the road I ran into him, and in an instant the pain I thought I had taken care of all came right back, but ten times stronger. We began to talk on a daily basis again, just to touch base, and ended up getting back together. I thought this was the best thing in the world until he broke it off with no explanation yet again. This became a pattern throughout the course of the years. I began to put less and less effort into the relationship every time, expecting the same outcome. Along with putting less effort in him and the relationship, I eventually realized how little effort I began to put in myself as well.

My self-confidence went from okay to terrible in a matter of a few months’ time. All I wished for back then was to know the reason why he kept calling it off. I drove myself craze into thinking it had something to do with me and that I was doing something wrong. So there I was, in love with a guy who didn’t love me back, and no answers to help me move on. Trying to figure out the reason seemed to consume everything within me. It was all I could think about! I would think about it during school, during sporting events, sitting at home, it even consumed my dreams. I thought to myself, “If I can just know what I did wrong, maybe I can fix it and he’ll begin to love me back.” After time had passed, and we were on and off yet again, the answer seemed to slowly reveal itself. Be careful what you wish for they say. Let me just tell you, I WAS NOT prepared for the answer that came out. I found out that he was cheating on me and only used me for his wants at the time. Now here is where the caring too much comes into play. Instead of walking away right then and there, I tried to fix myself. Why try to fix myself you ask?

Well, I still thought there was something wrong with me and that is why he was doing the things he was doing. After a few more times of going out off and on I then shifted to wanting to help him. So now here I am young, and very naïve, trying to fix not only myself but the guy I love as well. I began to give my all over and over yet again. And every time we got back together I would get a sob story to make me feel bad for him. It was a game that he seemed to win every time. He knew exactly what strings to pull with me and how to manipulate my caring nature to his beck and call. When we were not dating we become good friends, which made it even harder to think he was just playing some sick and twisted game. This is the first situation were caring too much has led to massive amounts of heartache and hurt. I was way too focused on trying to help that I never saw the damage I was doing to myself. Time after time I would tell myself lies that it would be okay because I would help him and it will all work out. However, not all things in life can be changed. I have learned that he needs to hit a point in his life where he makes a change for his own sake. Even to this day I wish the best for him but I do not pursue to be around him anymore.

Although that relationship took a huge toll on me, I have also found that I can be too caring in all relationships of my life. It can be a relationship with friends, parents, significant others, and even acquaintances. Since I am a caring person, I can also be quite naïve because I become so focused on helping a person, that I lose track of how much I pour my heart out into them. If you are a person like me, caring too much can consume you’re entire being. One can become easily misled and can remain in a place they should not. Now that I am aware of my caring nature I can start to correct it and make adjustments where necessary. I hope that my story can encourage others who face the issue of caring too much to realize that they can become blind to certain things and situations. They can be misled and manipulated because of their caring nature. Hopefully this small article can help others so that they do not have to go through the same pains and heartaches I have went through.

So to answer the original question, yes, a person can be too caring and too naïve, but when one realizes that they have a precious heart that cares so much, they can then guard it and not fall into the trap of manipulation.