The unspoken topic, and the reality that none of us want to face - how we've managed to mess up the dating world for our generation. The fact of the matter is, you can get close enough to talk to someone every day, and see them frequently, but not close enough to become too emotionally invested. You become comfortable with sharing your everyday life with them, but when feelings arise, you stray away from the relationship that was becoming. You want the benefits of a relationship, but no one can seem to settle for having the title of a relationship. Today's dating scene truly is no "dating" scene of any kind.
It's a jumbled confusion of unsaid feelings, and hurt emotions. Our generation has taken into a new concept of the "talking" stage. Thus, the "talking" stage is one where you are practically dating the person, but there are no strings attached. Both parties are emotionally invested, or maybe only one party is invested, and the other is simply leading them on.
This is a hard concept to grasp because what happened to actually dating? What happened to guys asking girls out on dates (or vice versa)? What happened to times when you didn't have to calculate if you were in the dating game or not? What happened to actually seeing each other in person and enjoying each others company? Rather than the 2 a.m. "let's hang out" text, constant snap-chatting, likes on social media, or "Netflix and chilling".
The talking stage is simply a state of confusion. There are no clear intentions of why you're together, nor are there clear feelings, because why else can't you just date? Right. You can't date because that means you are in too deep. And that's where you find the problem. If you like a person why can't you straight-up tell them? If you care for a person why can't you show them? If you like them enough, why can't you fall into a serious relationship with them?
You fear rejection. You fear commitment. You fear the unknown, and what you've seen happen over and over again. You fear having to trust someone else, and trust that they won't hurt you. You fear being cheated on, because, quite frankly, that's something you've witnessed happen far too many times in your life. How are you supposed to trust when this is a commonality in society nowadays?
The reality is, you have to take chances before you find what you want. This is something I constantly even have to remind myself, because I find it extremely hard to trust anybody. Yet, getting over this stump in your life, involves learning to trust, and accepting the unexpected fall. You have to fall before you can get back up. You have to eventually get rejected in your life to appreciate the people who appreciate you. You deserve more than "talking". You deserve someone who wants to be as committed to your feelings as you are to theirs. However, sometimes you realize you begin to care more for them than they may care for you.
You succumb to the consistent emotional inconsistency. You feel that it's okay to care so much for a person, who may not care as much for you. You've become blinded to the fact, that you're not actually dating, you're only "talking". "You didn't date, so technically you can't be that upset", that's what everyone says. Yet, what other people don't realize is how much you invested into this person you were "talking" to. So, no. The dating scene today isn't a dating scene at all. It's simply a state of confusion. It's a state where you can constantly share your everyday life events with a person. A state where you can flirt, hang out, face-time, text, call, and snap-chat this person, but never put a label on it. In the end, someone ends up getting their feelings hurt, and can say nothing because you were only "talking".
