Today I wrote myself a letter. I realized that it had been a long while since we had sat down for a chat. We had a lot to catch up on. A lot to get out in the open and come to terms with. I told myself a few jokes, then a few tears were shed, and we came out on the other side feeling much more connected and with a commitment to listen to each other much more often.
I know this sounds like crazy talk. I promise you, I am not crazy. Well, maybe a little. In all seriousness, I found that it was extremely necessary to spend some quality time with myself today. The past few months have been hectic, to say the least. When life got chaotic or rough or even just the least bit stressful, I had this good habit of writing it all down as a way to make sense of the mess. It would work wonders and I would always feel better and more at peace. However, recently I've noticed that I choose the complete opposite option. When I get stressed or sad or frustrated, I push my journal away with the thought that if I don't dwell on whatever issue is at hand, it will just go away. Needless to say, life doesn't work quite like that, at least not for me. Finally, I came to the realization that in order to get some peace and order back in my life, I needed to get back to my old habit. So, I sat down, and I wrote myself a letter.
I told myself how proud I was of her for working as hard as she has in her first three months of college. I told her that it was all just going to get more difficult, but that she could take it. I told her to remember that she shouldn't have life figured out just yet. If she did I would be a little worried. I told her that, yes, I understood how going back can be infinitely more terrifying than leaving. I told her how lucky she was to have the most amazing people, memories, and opportunities in her life. I told her that I knew how hard it was not to cry in the middle of class last week, but that I hope she could see how everything had worked itself out. I told her to make sure that she asked for help every once in a while, even if it was just from me. I told her that it was okay to run after the sunset in her bare feet, even if everyone else stared. I told her to keep dreaming; she was always good at that. I told her to get back to creating because I can tell that she misses it and she's holding it back. I told myself to keep that fire burning in her eyes and I told her to let kindness pour out like water. I told myself that I loved her and that I would always be her number one fan. I told her that we should do this again soon sometime.
Yes, it sounds crazy, but it is so necessary to get to know yourself and check in every once in a while, whatever that may mean for you. You are the best you've got.
