My best friend sent me a screen shot of a Facebook post she saw. I read it once and immediately assumed it was from a Buzzfeed article about the ignorance of many Facebook users, then I saw who had posted. Someone I went to high school with, someone who walked the same halls with me while I was feeling my darkest, someone who would have ridiculed me if I had reached out in a public way.

The post read: “Tired of seeing suicide post on here. Life can’t be that bad that you ready to kill yourself. If it is then get some help but killing yourself isn’t going to solve a damn thing and its flat out selfish. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. Make a mental not of that!”

First, I would like to point out a little bit of irony within this post. This post is about mental illness and the person is saying “make a mental note of that”, here is proof that there is no awareness about mental illness.

You do not have to go through tragedy to experience depression. I can’t stress this point enough. You can live a positive life, full of love and support and success, and still find yourself depressed. There is a difference between situational depression and clinical depression.

I’ll give you the dictionary definitions.

Situational depression is a short-term form of depression that can occur in the aftermath of various traumatic changes in your normal life, including divorce, retirement, loss of a job and the death of a relative or close friend. Doctors sometimes refer to the condition as adjustment disorder.

Clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss, such as the death of a loved one, or a medical condition, such as a thyroid disorder.

One more time

Clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss, such as the death of a loved one, or a medical condition, such as a thyroid disorder.

As a fifteen-year-old girl, living in Kansas, surrounded by healthy and happy friends and family, having suffered no tragedy, I found myself deeply depressed.

So in a way, I guess this post is right “Life can’t be that bad that you ready to kill yourself”, because my life was awesome and I was ready. But who was I going to tell and how was I going to tell them? How do you walk up to your mom and say ‘I want to die’? It isn’t easy for anyone to be that boldly honest and it is especially hard for someone dealing with depression, because depression is a disease rooted in shame, and that shame screams at you to hide what you are feeling from everyone, to pretend you are happy, and to let no one know what is really going on. So, yes, if you are depressed you should seek help, but it is not an easy thing to do. That is why there are anonymous helplines for depressed children, teens, and adults. Because it isn’t easy to claim your depression.

There is so much to be said about mental illness and I understand that my view on mental illness is tainted by my own experience. And today, I feel like claiming my mental illness, but tomorrow I can’t promise I will feel the same way. Because I still have shame surrounding my depression and anxiety and I’m finding out that sometimes that is okay because I refuse to become my shame.