I am a girl who likes to be in control. I like to make my own decisions, and I like to feel like what I'm doing is not only right for myself but right for those around me.
Sometimes, my sense of being in control of my life leads me to overthink. I'll think about mistakes I've made in the past, and analyze how my actions or inactions contributed to the ultimate failure of friendships, relationships, and opportunities. Sometimes, I'll think about mistakes I could make in the future, and literally plan out every possible scenario, opportunity, and actions or inactions that could cause x, y, or z to happen.
Sometimes my overthinking gives me the illusion of control. I like being in control of my life, and of my actions and decisions. Though sometimes this illusion creates self-inflicted misery. When does our sense of control become a negative, anxiety-inducing influence?
Instead of trying to think through every possible scenario and analyzing past actions, I'm going to give up to give in. I deserve to enjoy everything this world has to offer- friendships, relationships, opportunities to succeed and challenge myself and grow beyond my wildest dreams. Sometimes my sense of control convinces me that I can make every decision to lead to all of these opportunities- though am I really living if I'm too wrapped up in past and future actions/ inactions?
Today, I give up my control and I give in to the present moment. I will still help myself to succeed, though I will do in a healthier way- one that truly gives in to all that life has to offer.
