To Whom It May Concern:

Going through a break up is so hard. I’ve been there, in so many ways. Whether you were with your partner for a huge amount of your life or someone just broke up with you over text message, it feels like someone reached down your throat, jiggled you around for a day, and then threw you on the side of the road. Sometimes you see it coming, or you were the one who did the breaking up and it comes as less of a shock. Most of the time it doesn’t hurt less but the shock value is lower and you can start moving on with your life sooner.

Let me tell you something that might not help you right now, but is the truest thing you will ever hear.

THIS CAN BE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU, IF YOU LET IT BE.

I know, I’m telling myself to shut up in my own head too. It sounds so annoying, but it’s seriously so true.

Every single break up I have come out of has made me a better person. Not because I wanted my ex back, not because I tried to “win the break up,” but because I let the break up happen. I let myself feel all of the feelings, I let myself go through the weird thing where you stalk them on social media for hours on end, I let myself go through that angry phase where all you want to do is work out and make yourself as hot as can be so that they’ll want you back. Here’s the key though.

You have to know that what you are going through is TEMPORARY. You have to be aware that the things you are feeling, while very real, are not you. This break up is not who you are, this relationship is not who you are, you are a human being with a purpose and a story and a life that is so much bigger and better than this moment in time, let alone anyone who, for some ridiculous reason, didn’t deem you good enough.

Let me tell you something.

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF LOVE. YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE ROYALTY. YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF EVERYTHING THAT LIFE IS ABOUT TO GIVE YOU, BECAUSE NOW YOU HAVE AN OPEN DOOR.

Don’t get me wrong,

I cried, I cursed, I ate my feelings, I cried some more. You can bet that I have cried into my ice cream and then eaten that tear filled ice cream.

I hit low points that I never thought were possible.

But what is happening right now is a gift. Don’t waste your time. Yes, feel your feelings, feel all of them on the entire spectrum. Lie in your bed and be depressed and angry and confused and relieved and anxious and lonely. Just don’t set up camp and live there.

Give yourself time to grieve. Then, give yourself time to be okay. Because, I promise, you will totally and completely be okay.

I am sending you so much freaking love right now.

M D-H

P.S. Friends are the best medicine.

Stay tuned for next, I am posting the ultimate break up resource guide. From break up songs to TV shows to books to things to do with your life now that you have all this time.