"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha
I struggled to write this because of the emotions that I felt during it — happy, sad, relieved, angry, empowered, and vulnerable. I write this as an open letter to anyone struggling with self-love but in another way, I am also talking to myself. I'm writing this to reassure myself and the values that I believe for other women admittedly, it feels great to write something that can help others and yourself at the same time.
First, let me tell you that you were not alone. Approximately 91 percent of women in the world struggle with a positive self-image. Of course, not many women can outright admit they are unhappy with themselves. It can make you feel vulnerable. Honestly, that's why it's so important to discuss.
There will be days that you look in the mirror and feel like a weed in the garden — that's OK. However, there are also going to be days that you stand taller than a sunflower, feeling like the prettiest rose. And that's ok too. One important thing to realize is that you are allowed to feel emotions toward yourself. You are not forced to only see the positives. You were not forced to become emotionless. Emotions can motivate, power, excite you, and create new adventures if you want them. Emotions also remind you that you are human.
However, self-love doesn't just come from someone else telling you that "you need to love yourself more" or "you're so pretty." Self-love doesn't come from the affection and attention of others. Self-love doesn't come from drugs or alcohol.
Self-love comes from when you learn to accept the positives within yourself and when you allow yourself to listen to the negatives as well.
Self-love isn't blind acceptance, it is growing and transforming while nourishing and supporting the temple you have within yourself. You may decide that you are unhappy with an aspect of yourself, physically, mentally, or emotionally. And that's OK. As human beings, we are always changing and transforming. As long as you are treating yourself properly and showing yourself love, nothing is wrong with change.
Become mindful. Stay true to what you believe in. Follow your heart, thoughts, goals, and future. Believe in yourself and your ability to decide what's best for you. You are the ONLY person who fully knows what morals, values, and beliefs you'll have and you need to be able to defend them, sometimes to yourself and sometimes to others.
Lastly, forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself, without regrets, during the good and the bad times. Accept that you are a human and that humans make mistakes. You cannot view these mistakes as setbacks or failures. You need to view them as life lessons and learn from them. You can forgive yourself as a rose, you can forgive yourself as a weed.
I know that self-love can be hard sometimes but keep your head up and stand tall. Realize that it is OK to be yourself fully. Remember that any change in the world takes time and that there is beauty in the time span. Develop your intentions and purpose and live your best life.
