Life is the ultimate test.
Throughout my childhood, fear held me back. I would crawl under my mother’s long skirt, clinging to her legs as she spoke with people who were strangers to me. I shied away from making new friends, choosing instead to focus my attention on a few neighbor girls and my sister. I lived in a brick house with large windows that were open to the world. Let’s just say I was very unlike those windows.
My life was defined by my fears. For years, I was pulled farther and farther into myself. Solace was found in books of great heroines and epic adventures, but, as much as I wanted that for myself, I just couldn’t do it. I was so very scared: A caged bird with the door wide open, comfortable but discontent sitting alone.
It was the discontent that fueled me to change. By becoming aware of my own unhappiness, I was able to recognize that I had led myself to a point that I regretted. Irrational fears had held me back for far too long. As time went on, I resolved to be different.
I chose to change, and it worked.
The transformation wasn’t sudden. It took years to be comfortable approaching people and taking risks. But through joining teams, getting a job, and actively spending time with friends, I found that the impossible had become possible. I freed myself from my own fears.
From my home in central Minnesota, I went on adventures across cities and states and pushed myself to take opportunities that scared the shit out of me. I focused on living in the moment because of how terrified I was about the future. When I spoke at my high school graduation, all my fears came flooding into my mind at once, but I pushed through. I spoke to my classmates about fear and detailed how I learned to love the challenge that came from those fears. As I exited the building for the last time before heading to Washington state for college, I felt a great sense of pride. I had won.
The fears are still there. They will always be there. But by changing my mindset, my life became something that I was proud of. By saying 'yes' to the world, I felt like I was finally living. Because, if you think about it, life is this flexible, ever-changing, unthinkable thing.
The air that flows through us, each breath that we take, demonstrates that we are present. But by succumbing to fear throughout our life, our presence here on Earth is diminished. A quote by Helen Keller has stuck with me for a very long time. I have hung on my wall and written in my journal her words,
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
Every person experiences their own type of fear. For this reason, no single person can fuel the transformation of another. But I want to implore you, if you are discontent with the path you are currently on, to make a change. For me, it was a simple statement, repeated year after year: “I resolve to be courageous.”
So my advice to anyone whose experience has paralleled my own is to say 'yes' to life. Take chances, find your passions, and explore the world around you.
Your life is yours to live. Live it well.
