To Those Who Feel Forgotten

I will be completely honest with you and tell you, the world is ruthless. Everyone always seems to compete with you and just when you are knocked to the ground, they kick at you like you're a dead horse. Some may say, "Jeez, that's graphic." But I will tell you, I'm a very straight person. I won't lie to you and say life is all about rainbows and sunshine because it's not. By now you're probably thinking, "wow, this girl is crazy." But no, I'm not. Well actually, I take that back. Sure, I guess I am crazy because I will tell you how it is. I hate the sugar coating and fluff that's why I never give it. So I will begin with a story...

My story begins one freezing November morning -- my mom said that snow was already on the ground on November 14th. The first Grabowski girl was supposed to be born. Isabel Anna Grabowski was born on Tuesday morning at around 6am, November 14th, 1995. I was welcomed into a loving home with two selfless parents who, literally, built themselves up. My dad worked in the construction business and named his company, I.G. Construction after his little "baby Belcia" (as we would call me). His love radiated through every house he built, every life he touched and of course every smile he would give us. Now let's fast forward...

I will never forget the day my father grabbed my hand and said, "Bella, promise me you will write a book about us." With tears in my eyes, I looked straight into his teary eyes and promised him that I will. At this point in his life, he was battling stage four brain cancer for over 3 years and little did we all know that the day he made me promise that was close to his last.

You always think, "psh, this will never happen to me." But wow, are we wrong about these things...

September 15th, 2016 my dad breathed his last breath.

Losing a parent at 20 has taught me a lot. As I started off, the world is so ruthless. It's the truth but one thing that I will always remember is the word, "love." It's amazing the power that word has. It will help you do and go through everything. This is why I was and am so lucky. Some people don't even get 0.05% of that...I did. I got 1110000000000% of that because of my parents. Dad, I will never ever forget that. The thing that sucks the most about that it that you really don't feel it until it's too late. At least that's what happened to me. I will be honest with you and say that I went through hell the past few years with my dad being sick but I do not regret one single second. This struggle has shown me the biggest love that life could've ever given me. I love my dad and I always will. I know that I will love him more now that he is gone because he has taught me some remarkable things.

I always thought that I will never have to experience this quote but I did, "you never now what's good until it's gone," but I will be honest and say that I learned it first hand. It took my dad suffering from a deadly cancer, three years of stress and struggle about tomorrow, and lots of prayer, which now seem like they weren't heard. But I will tell you, as hard as it is, I am so happy things happened the way they did. It wasn't easy to come to this conclusion, though.

My dad passed away...he honestly wasn't ready. He wanted to see me get married in Portofino, as he told me and see his little grandson Adam run around...He couldn't help it but he knew that was above him. It was the hardest thing seeing him look at you the last time but not one second do I regret. My dad always said, "everything happens for a reason, I know there's a reason for that." Dad, I'm still trying to figure this sh*t out. I still don't understand it. But I know that this has forever changed me. And as much as it hurts that you won't walk me down the aisle or see your grandchildren...I know that we are stronger people because of it. I will never forget the moment you sat me down and said, "I have changed as a person too."

Dad, I will never forget the impact you have made on me or others. As much as I may hate the Higher Powers for this, I will never understand this. Just know that your spirit lives through me and through me, you will never be forgotten.