I see you every morning that I wake up, throw my scrubs on, grab a muffin and jump in my car. I turn on my music and I pull out of the driveway. I take a bite of my muffin while I turn up the heat a little (because it's beginning to finally feel like fall). Then as I go to round the corner I see you. You're always the first one there in the mornings. I know you're probably about 14. I know it's you every day because you wear the same purple wire glasses and you let your long blonde hair hang in front of your eyes while you adjust your backpack and look up at me driving past. You have no idea the lesson you've taught me. Probably because you don't even know my name and, heck, I don't know yours.
Every morning I wake up and argue with myself to get out of bed. I question why I'm going to work and then attending college classes until 10 o'clock at night. Then I conversate with God about it all while I'm doing my hair and it usually sounds a lot like, "What are you doing with my life? I mean I trust you and all, but you know I have passions for things so much different than what I'm spending every day doing right now. Why won't you open doors and let me pursue them? I know I need to be patient but haven't I been patient enough? I feel stuck...it's just...I mean...I'm sorry. I trust You, God." Then I grab my keys, shout goodbyes to my family, and I pass you (the waiting girl) every day.
You see, my heart aches every time I see you. Not because you're waiting to get on a squeaky bus that smells like middle school boy's armpits, but because I wish I could pull over and tell you everything God has taught me through my horrid middle school years. I yearn to walk through a day of school with you and encourage you that your creator thinks you're absolutely beautiful every time a little boy ridicules you for not smearing makeup on your face after gym class. I just wish I could giggle with you every time a teacher tells you that "school is the most important thing ever". I wish I could reassure you that just because your classes will be called 'college classes' instead of 'middle school classes' one day, it doesn't by any circumstance mean you have to know what you wanna do with the rest of your life. In fact, I'd highly encourage you to place your plans at God's feet and let Him guide you. I wish I wish I wish. I wish I could tell you all of these great things, but I can't. You'll have to learn them on your own.
That's what God has taught me through you. You wake up every morning and stand there on the corner waiting to hop on a bus. I go to work and school every morning waiting for God to show me His plan for my life. God isn't going to pull me aside right now and tell me everything He has planned for me in the future, or else I wouldn't grow very close to Him through any of what He has planned for me right here and now. It wouldn't require me to have faith in the ups and the downs and the severe nerve racking phases of my life. Just like I can't pull you aside and tell you all the things that God has taught me, assuming you're going to be able to comprehend and apply what I've told you to your life personally. Because even if I did, you wouldn't fully understand any of it until you went through it yourself and made your own mistakes and learned to trust God and His plan for you all on your own.
So I can wake up every morning and I can argue with myself, or with God, or anyone I'd like. I can be late to work and I can neglect my classes. I can completely disregard where God has put me and I can make myself unavailable to be used by Him. OR I could be like you. I could wake up, go where I'm called, and wait. So, I wanna be like you. I wanna be early to places I don't wanna be just for the simple purpose that I know it's where God wants me. And I wanna wait on Him to lead me the way you wait for that loud yellow bus to pick you up every morning. Every single morning. You see, sometimes God uses us the most in the times we feel He isn't using us at all.
I wanna be like you. Because I wanna be like Him.
