Dear Ugly Grey Monster That Tries To Destroy Me And Fails,
I wanted to write a letter to you in hopes that we can come to some sort of understanding as to where we both go from here. I have thought about you many times before in days of despair and days of hope – today is one of my good days when I can find the strength from within to speak to you forcefully, concisely, from the head and from the heart. If need be, I can also speak to you aggressively just to enforce my point, but seeing as we are now old friends, I shall try to remain diplomatic at all times. As for today, I was dealing with yet another setback medically, leaving me angry and irritated.
Let me start by complimenting you on the wonderful team you have working for you. How you manage to cause so much pain and heartache to so many people and not get a negative reaction in the press is a testament to the work they do on your behalf. How you get away with creating a stigma against those of us who suffer is nothing short of remarkable. When we are on better terms, perhaps you can tell me how they do it. However in the meantime why are you doing it? Why are you targeting young, old, and middle age? Don’t you know that it affects their relationships, and their outlooks on life?
Exactly how is it that you manage to turn the tables on people so that they are seen as weak, hopeless, worthless, and even on the verge of taking their lives because you won’t let them breathe? How come you’re still not seen as the major illness you are when so many people suffer because of you?
Despite all of this, people still do not talk about you - there is a fear. Almost reminiscent of the film that was based on a true story, The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976), where people are afraid to mention you in case you appear in their lives. When I am ready, your team can work for me and help promote my articles that I write. Then we will see how you cope with the tables being turned on you for a change, how the changing of the guard, in terms of how people see you and react to you when the truth comes out, makes you feel. It’s not a great feeling, and I cannot wait until you get to feel the way I am feeling.
I saw firsthand how you destroy someone with no regard, no remorse - just a relentless charge through someone’s persona. Watching someone so vibrant, loving, outgoing, and confident become a shadow of that person that I loved. Myself. Did you know that I am only 19? With the whole world in front of me?? To make someone change in such a way and worse of all, to do it over a short period of time so that they are not aware of it. You acted fast, that’s for sure. This is not the actions of something that is perceived so lightly by others, especially those who have never been “blessed” with your touch. Like a cold hand on a warm day, your touch comes as a shock at first, and yet, you embrace those unable to fight you off like a familiar face, suppressing the evil laughter that no doubt exists as you claim a new follower.
You came to me over a 6 month time span. I knew you were there, but I was not ready to acknowledge your existence. Unaware of the strength I needed to halt you on the path of destruction that was intended for my life, I allowed you to control me and my feelings until that day when you almost beat me. Today I wanted to bawl all day, along with many days in the past. I wanted to stay in bed and dwell on what has come to my life. I worry about my mom, deal with regrets with my dad and cannot repair it, dealt with surgery’s, ER visits and many nurses and doctors. Poking and prodding and questioning why it’s not healing, or has healed yet causing me to be homebound and withdraw from furthering my education until further notice, I use the word ALMOST even though so much is going on, because you had the chance to do exactly that and beat me, but I am MUCH stronger than to feel bad for myself. Big mistake, mister, because when you had me on the canvas you did not go in for the kill. You allowed me to take the eight-count and instead of finishing me off, you chose to dance around the ring, toying with me.
The truth of the matter is that I was a beaten woman, but I did not want you to claim me as another victim. From within I found hidden strength, through the love of my family, my boyfriend, his family, and my friends, to rise up and fight back. I am lucky in that sense, but others are not as fortunate as me, more susceptible to your uncanny knack of pinpointing someone’s weakness and going straight for it.
The good news for me (and bad for you) is that our time together has not always been in your favor. Without you I would not be writing, something I had taken up as a hobby recently. You stirred my creative juices and made my mind awash with ways in which I can defeat you. You helped me! I guess it is fair to say that it was not your intention, but unlike you toying around with me when I was down, I have taken my opportunity and I am ready for you. I am ready to help others defeat you and most of all, I am ready to show others how the weakness comes from you, not themselves, while I’m taking you down too.
I am starting a revolution and will unite all ‘Depressionistas’ from all walks of life in my battle. Are you ready for us this time, my friend? We may be weak as single entities, but as a force we are strong, and we will not be defeated even if it takes us a lifetime. Your days of chaining us to shackles will soon be over.
Try putting a positive spin on that!
Yours Truly,
A Fighter
If you or your friend is going through depression, it’s a serious matter. Help them see the light or get someone to help you get out of the funk!!! You are stronger than you think. If you don’t know what the signs of depressions are here are a few links that you can go to for further information, please consult with your doctor too.
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-symptoms-and-types
