To the town I left behind,
Not all who wander are lost, but sometimes I forget who actually wandered.
You're like a pair of wisdom teeth. I don't need you to survive, but leaving you was painfully cathartic. I slick my tongue over the empty gap where you once were and wonder how I ever came to leaving you.
Even though I no longer live close to you, I find myself thinking of you often. I am glad to be separated, but I cannot deny that you are all I have ever known.
My childhood memories of you are hazy. Mom always kept us cooped up in the house, but that didn't stop me from escaping when no one was looking. From your terrifying train tracks to your quiet residents, I never felt completely whole in your graces. Onlookers saw a city of prosperity, of smart children going off to University with top SAT scores and a sense of pride to their school, but I saw children suffocating from a city that wouldn't let them be themselves. You let the arts die, you let darkness choke families behind closed doors. Only when the first child died did I realize, what fantasy have I been living in?
As I grew older, my sense of pride changed. I wasn't proud of you, but I was proud of my peers. I was proud of the streets, sights, and smells, proud of the friends and teachers who encouraged my ambition to rise above you. You hold the roots of my foundations. Without you, I would not have left the state or sought a new horizon for my future. Without you, my beautiful friends would not be my beautiful friends. The children are growing up to realize that you need help, and with time, you will be healed.
I will come back someday. I don't know when-- maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years-- but I will come back with a love so strong that you will realize that I never actually abandoned you. I just took a step back.
Sincerely,
The girl whose heart never left