Last week a writer for The Odyssey at Delta State University published an article, I'm Spoiled: Stop Shaming Me.
"I never understood why people always project such negativity about this. It’s such a blessing to have parents who want to do so much for you; it’s nothing to shame."
This author carelessly expresses that she is well taken care of simply because she has parents who love her. Whether she meant to or not she makes it seem as though any child whose parents don't provide for their any and every need aren't loved and I'm sorry to say this but that just isn't true.
Since it was published the article has been shared around 31,000 times on Facebook and has around 100 comments on its own Odyssey page. The popularity of this article has been huge and as a fellow Odyssey writer I applaud her for her writing such a successful article. Originally I didn't want to say anything in regards to this article but as time passed I decided I couldn't just stand by and ignore it.
As someone who knows exactly what it's like to work a full time job while maintaining a somewhat decent GPA just to provide the necessities for myself I am offended. These are my responses, on behalf of others like me:
1. You are not a victim
The whole underlining tone of this article sounds so entitled. Over and over the author's tone is "poor pitiful me, my parents pay for everything..." I'm not saying this girl doesn't have her own set of problems but complaining about having money is just stupid. There are people in our own country who don't know where their next meal is coming from and and you're complaining because you do?? No matter who you are, that is unacceptable.
2. Show some respect
Nothing makes me more upset than hearing someone tell me I can't do something because of my circumstances. I don't know what world you live in but just because someone has to work a little harder to get what they want does not mean they can't achieve something greater. Take your parents for example. You yourself said that they worked while they were in college and look at them now, successful. Working teaches you all kinds of skills including social skills and "professional skills" which you obviously need. The fact that a student works doesn't mean they're any less social. In fact, I believe that working has broadened my social capacity allowing me to better communicate with others as a whole. Don't limit a person's ability to do something by being small minded.
3. Don't talk about your finances with your friends
This is like the number one rule in any relationship whether it's a friendship, a job, or even a dating relationship. When working a job you're not supposed to discuss how much you make with your co-workers and since school is your job... well you know. You shouldn't talk about your finances with anyone but your parents and after you become financially independent of them you really shouldn't discuss those matters much with them either. Saying things like, "When I ask for money, most of the time they give it to me." is what causes people to be jealous and upset with you. If you didn't talk about your fiances with others as much no one would have anything to shame you about.
4. But you are right, It's nothing to shame
Most parents "want" their children to be successful. Most parents give any and everything they have so that their children can be happy. However I can almost guarantee that the reason you specifically have been shamed is because of the way you carry yourself. You are being shamed for a lack of acknowledgment of the fact that you are privileged. No one has done anything to you because you bring this upon yourself.
5. You can talk about privilege while remaining humble
Instead of talking about all the great things your parents have done you could have talked about how grateful to them you are for giving you a life of comfort. My friends and I, we all come from different family and financial backgrounds. That's what makes us unique. Things that are the same between us are that we all have jobs to uphold. Some of my friends work at Chick-Fil-a while some of my friends only job is making straight A's. Yes, those jobs are different and we all know it but we don't shame each other because we all see how hard each of us work for success and we try our best to be humble. The people who shame you, they're not shaming your money, They're shaming your lack of humility.
6. Money does not equal love in any relationship
You know the old saying "money can't buy you love"? It's simple really, parents of those less fortunate than you love their children just like your parents love you. No amount of money could change that.
7. The "real world" and all of it's financial responsibility would shock you
The simple fact that you think people are incapable of working during college let's me know you have reality messed up. I agree with you that school is hard, it's part of my job too. But guess what? Life is hard and we were created to do the hard things. Doing hard things make us stronger. While your main concerns are making good grades and having fun with your sorority sisters others have a little more on their plates-- Our key to success? Balance. We pick and choose which things are important for us at the time of doing them. Trying to keep our grades up is nothing compared to the struggle of trying to make ends meet so that you can pay for necessities like food or gas.
Anyone can disagree with my stance just as I've disagreed with the author's and I promise I am not here to condemn but you know what they say... "Opinions are like noses, everybody has one." I understand the point she was trying to make but her delivery was terrible. I'll say this once and I'll say it a million times, perception is everything. It doesn't matter what her stance ever was, you have to be humble.
Be blessed, Jazzy Harrison
