If you thought that being single is the end of the world, I’m here to tell you that it’s not. Now, this is coming from someone who has been single her entire life. I know to some people the fact that I’m 19 years old and have never dated anyone may sound incredibly sad. However, you need not feel sorry for me, and here’s why: being single has been a beautiful experience, opening me up to many opportunities of growth and self-discovery.
It seems that somehow, our culture has made singleness out to be some sort of isolating disease. We are made to feel that there is something inherently wrong with not having a significant other. Maybe, the problem is actually within us. Obviously there must be something wrong with any person who can’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend. It must be that we aren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, athletic enough, funny enough, or smart enough. Because surely, as long as we have one of those traits then we would be lovable. In the words of Dwight K Schrute, “FALSE.”
All of the previous paragraph, in every possible way, is false. The problem does not lay in any of us, but rather within the culture that forces us to believe that we are not loved unless we have a significant other. With this in mind, I would like to push against the strong current of our modern culture and assert that seasons of singleness are not only necessary parts of our life, but beneficial ones too.
First off, let me just establish this very important truth: each and every person was created with a dignity which cannot be taken away. I know that sounds really random right now, but hear me out. When it comes to relationships, we must be able to first recognize the dignity in ourselves before we can affirm it in the one that we love. If we cannot properly see our own dignity, then the romantic relationship will be built on a weak foundation. This is precisely when problems such as lust, cheating, and abuse enter into relationships. In our single years we have the ability to realize the dignity of our own self and learn to love ourselves. That way, we rely not on the affirmation of another, but know all on our own how much we are worth.
Discovering our identity is key in the single years. I have seen many relationships end with a great feeling of loss. I'm not just talking about the loss that results from not being with someone anymore, but more so the loss that results from no longer knowing our true identity, from no longer understanding ourselves. This sad reality often occurs when we enter into a relationship without first becoming confident in who we are.
When we are single we have the opportunity to focus on and grow in relationships with our family and friends. These will teach us how to be patient, compromise in disagreements, and love unconditionally in preparation for any romantic relationship we enter in the future. Also, its just really important to have a deep relationship with friends and family members, regardless of whether or not you are dating. Singleness also provides a time for us to pursue our passions and become the person we want to be. For me this means studying abroad, honing my writing skills, doing mission work, and learning to glorify God in all that I do.
Being single is nothing to be ashamed of. Being single is awesome.
