Hi there.
It's probably been a while since we've talked. It could be because of physical distance, how we never seemed to be in the same place at the same time, and that you moved far away from our hometown. That couldn't have been easy for you. Before everything changed, I saw the way you talked about it, how you seemed defeated and the light left your eyes every time you thought about leaving.
Or it could be because something happened...something big we never saw coming and didn't know how to handle, that left us fumbling for balance. Time has a funny way of changing friendships in the blink of an eye and ours was no exception. And of course, things happened and mistakes were made that couldn't be undone.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way that things turned out, and I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you.
I was young and immature and lost in my own world. I didn't want to lose our friendship. I saw it slipping through my fingers and I should've tried to hold on for dear life, I should've taken those steps onto the thin ice. But I didn't. I regret it every day.
I remember everything we did together. I remember all of the Target trips, McDonald's nugget orders, car rides with the aux cord plugged into your iPod (you always wanted to show me music you thought I'd like), things we said we'd do but never got the chance to. It hurts to look back on, even though I know I could apologize a million times and never fix the space between us. It wasn't a fun reality to face, to go through the first year of college without you by my side, and the next one, and the next one. But it happens. I know that I did you more harm than good, so really, I hope you're living life the way you were meant to.
My mom still occasionally asks about you, what you're up to, where you are in life, and everything comes rushing back like it was only yesterday that I saw you last. I shrug and say that I don't know. I like to imagine, though, and it brings a smile to my face. I hope you still have that favorite sweater you wore everywhere. I hope you still freak out every time you hear your favorite song blare through the car speakers. I hope you have that favorite booth in the McDonald's restaurant closest to you, and that you log hours with friends who make you happy.
You deserve it. Though we're not in each other's lives anymore, and maybe never will be again, I wish you all the best. You always said you wanted to make it big...and I know you will. I'll be waiting to look up on the TV screen and see your name flash before my eyes, or hear it drifting over the radio, or maybe even both. You were made for more, to move mountains and jump to the stars, and I know you'll find exactly where you're supposed to be.
Love,
The person who used to be your other half
