Hannah Montana said it best: everybody makes mistakes. They are called mistakes for a reason; I did not intend to hurt you. I automatically said sorry when I hurt you. Then I said it again. And then again. And then one hundred more times.
The extent of feeling remorse and regret can only go so far. What more can you expect me to do other than feel horribly about how negatively I affected you? There comes a point in time when people have to either accept an apology and move on, or decide that they no longer want the person who pained them to be in their lives.
Unfortunately, you decided that you no longer wanted me in your life. I know I screwed up. I know that I am the bad guy. But you abandoning me makes me question so many things. Did you care about our friendship? Was I even important to you? I felt and still do feel completely deserted.
I’m not saying that every person deserves a second chance. I’m also not saying that I deserve to unquestionably be forgiven. I sometimes wonder what the outcome would have been if your friends didn’t have such a big influence on your decisions, but of course I will never know because I am no longer a part of your life.
You quit on our friendship. I hurt you, and you then hurt me by losing my number and ignoring me in every way, shape, and form. Of course I wish I could just rewind and take back what happened, but unfortunately life does not work that way. It sucks that this had to happen, but now, I consider myself to be lucky. I’m lucky that I have had the experience to see your true colors. I’m lucky that I now know the truth about how unimportant our friendship was to you. I’m lucky that I now understand the raw reality of losing someone you care about. You fight for the things you love, but the boxing match came to a close the minute you gave up on us.
I can’t change your actions, and I certainly can’t change your mind. You’ve made your decision and what’s left is the pieces of a dismal broken friendship. I’ve enjoyed our past, but I now understand that there will be no future. See you around, and by around I mean occasionally on my social media newsfeed, or in someone else’s Snapchat story.
I regret that you never forgave, and only forgot.
