Let me just start by saying that this article hits on a personal level. It’s not meant to slap you in the face with TMI – that’s not what I want to do. Rather, after a lot of deliberation and self-reflection, as well as quality talks with friends and family, I realize that some hard experiences are meant to be shared with others as a testimony to God, to life and to learning, and we can all use each other’s hardships and blessings to learn for ourselves.
We often get too comfortable. Comfortable with where we are in life. Comfortable with our grades, our choices, our habits or our relationships. The truth of the matter is that it also too often takes a rug to be pulled out from under us, turning our world, our comforts, upside down to shake us to the core. And when this happens, we can easily say that we trust it’s for the best -- we can even say we know it’s all happening for a reason -- but that doesn’t make it any easier to understand what that reason is. Suddenly we aren’t comfortable. Suddenly we don’t have an idea of what the future holds. Suddenly we are turned upside down, and we don’t know what we want.
Not too long ago, my world was turned upside down. Something was pulled out from under me completely out of the blue; in this case, that thing was a relationship of significant time. There was no warning, no sign, nothing. I just had to accept that this unexpected and heart-wrenching change was my new life. Many would say that heartbreak is the greatest pain on earth. I can now identify with that. But don’t get me wrong, I’m happy. I’m living and breathing and know that I’m blessed every day just by living the life I live. However, my future suddenly was hazed by an unknown cloud shielded by emotions I’d never felt before, leaving me with nothing to do but to realize that I’m really not in control of other people’s decisions, no matter how sudden they are. I’m really not completely aware of the future, and that, my friends, is completely okay. That’s actually the point.
Imagine if you woke up one day and you suddenly knew every single event that would happen for the rest of your life. You could suddenly see graduation, marriage, death and all the exciting in-betweens. There would be no more spontaneity, no more excitement to the unknown. While it’s not enjoyable or encouraging to experience unexpected hardships in life, whether they be a heartbreak, a death or a loss of something you really wanted, if we knew these things were going to happen before they did, what would be the point of pursuing the good things in life? Even more, if these things never happened, what would build character? What would build individuality? What would build strength, dignity and testimony? Most importantly, what would keep us going in perseverance and fervor? An unknown future is the point.
If you’re like me, sudden unexpected events like these leave me at a loss. I thought I knew what I wanted, and suddenly I don’t. It’s funny how one significant event can leave you questioning every choice you could make, your livelihood or your worth. To those unsure of what you want and what is to come: IT IS OKAY. Uncertainty is what keeps us going. These moments keep us grounded in the here and now. Live for this day and not the day to come. Of course, there are times when the future is at stake and must be a focus. But remember to take a deep breath in THIS day. Today. Right now. You are alive, you are breathing and you are immensely blessed in more ways than one. Our lives will wind down many roads we’ve never seen, but as one of my favorite quotes from Hagrid says, “What’s coming will come and we’ll meet it when it does.” And if this applies to you, we trust the unknown to our Creator, who cares for the birds and the tiniest creatures of this earth; see how much more does He care for you, His child.
So you don’t know what you want. That’s okay. In fact, that’s perfectly expected. Uncertainty is the point. These moments in life are what will teach you and those around you the most. When the rug is pulled out from under you, get back up and keep walking. You have today.
