To The Person Who Cares Too Much

To The Person Who Cares Too Much

When does it come to the point of caring too much?
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One of the qualities we all want people to know us as is caring. We are supportive of others, we help them in times of need, and would do anything for them. Most people can say they at least have one person they do those three things for. I am the type of person that cares way too much. This can be a good and a bad thing. The way and amount of care you provide for someone shows the amount of love in your heart. Just as Winnie the Pooh says, "Some people care too much, I think it's called love". I want people to see me as someone they can lean on when life is not going the right way for them. A friend that they can trust when they are needing someone to talk to.

I feel like I am that friend but there are times when I feel like I maybe care too much. I will stick my neck out for someone who wouldn't even do the same for me. You go above and beyond for your friends sometimes without even thinking just because you would do anything for them. So you would expect them to do the same thing for you right?

Well, that doesn't happen all the time and you are left so upset. You wonder why you still put forth the effort into the relationship/friendship. It's because you care. You love them and that is just the person you are. We should not have to apologize for this or change the way we are. We think to ourselves that we are done putting forth all of this effort for people who may not deserve it. But you know what happens? We don't stop. We keep putting all of our heart into the people who could care less to have it. I have been through this situation too many times to count. I put everything into the relationships in my life. No matter who it is.

I have learned through the years that you can't please everyone no matter how hard you may want to. There are times when I believe that caring too much is a bad thing. In some situations, it can be. There are some people who are not meant to be in your life. You will figure that out one day who those individuals are. If the time comes that you realize "I have cared too much for this person when they could care less about me," let them go.

That is my advice. It could be the hardest decision to make but maybe it is for the best. If all they do is cause you pain and suffering, why continue to put yourself through that? We all deserve to have people in our lives that care so much about us too. A relationship/friendship takes two people to work, not just one. The next time you are feeling like you care too much for a person, stop and think about how they treat you for one. Two, how will you leaving their life affect them? If you think it would not make much of a difference, then don't think twice just leave. As Eleanor Roosevelt says, "We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all". Consider the people in your life and decide if they are really meant to be there.

Cover Image Credit: WeLife

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Became My Sister

Love is thicker than blood.
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Sis,

There are friends. Then, there are best friends.

According to "Grey’s Anatomy’s" Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang, they're your person. The one who, “if I murdered someone, I’d call you to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” You’re so much more to me than any of those titles can express.

As I’ve matured throughout the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that good friends with good hearts serve an incredibly important purpose in our lives, going above and beyond what we give them credit and appreciation for.

The family we choose. You’re one of those.

The day we met, I knew that you were going to play an important role in my life. What I had no idea of was that you would join the cast of my life with a starring role.

First, I need to say thank you. Thank you for always coming to my locker to check in before class during high school. Thank you for letting me control the music on road trips. Thank you for sharing your family with me, and addressing my family as if you were born into it.

Thank you for patiently listening to the physical embodiment of a broken record when I complain about the same boy I’ve loved since senior year. Thank you for tagging along on every doctor’s appointment, grocery run, and trip to the post office, just because you know that I hate doing things alone.

Thank you for not thinking twice before dialing when I text you “please call me.” Thank you for never saying no to a coffee date. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for being my better half.

We don't share the same genetic makeup, but after all the sleepovers, heart-to-heart conversations, shopping until our bank accounts cry, and swapping clothes so often that we don’t know what belongs to whom, how could I not consider you family? We have shared some my fondest memories together, and I wouldn’t want them to feature anyone but you.

You’ve been with me on my best days, and loved me on my worst. You know how to make me laugh when all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.

Picturing sitting in my car with you in the passenger seat makes me long for summer, where we spend three months together doing all of our favorite things. You’ve seen me naked, done my makeup, and warned me before making a poor decision. Being away from you for extended periods of time makes me feel incomplete.

You are a piece of me that I am not quite whole without. You taught me that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.

You know me better than I know myself, which is both amazing and terrifying. You make me realize I’m enough for this world, and that means more to me than I know how to express in the limited words that make up the English language.

You remind me that I am more than my mistakes, and you keep me grounded when I spiral out of control. You’ve helped me carry my burdens along with your own, even when the universe comes down on you full force, way harder than you deserve.

You’re the one I come to for the truth if I think my new dress makes me look fat, and I know you’ll be honest. I trust you with my whole heart. You know the gory details about every boy I’ve ever crushed on, every professor who was an absolute jerk, and every fight I’ve had with my mom.

I wouldn’t make it in this life without someone who already understands and listens to every thought going through my head and each thing I seriously over think, even when you know, though you don’t say, it won’t matter in a week.

With all these affectionate things being said, don’t forget our fights. The few we’ve had were very real. We still don’t see eye to eye on some events of the past, but I never told my mom about it because there was no need to make her choose a side between me and her “second daughter.

We have learned to move forward, because the love we have for each other overwhelmingly outweighs any disagreement we’ve had, and always will.

Through all the tears and laughs, I don’t think that anything the world has to offer could seriously come between us. You go to a different school than me now, and college has rudely gotten in the way of our routine of spending every waking moment together.

Since we met, we’ve grown separately without growing apart. Neither of us are the same person we used to be all those years ago. Even so, we’ve pushed each other to our limits and you’ve given me the courage to keep going and do things that make me happy.

We lean on each other when it’s been a bad day and all we want to do is to snuggle and indulge in whichever show the other is currently watching unceasingly and unabashedly for comfort (it’s the little things). Having you as my co-pilot on this crazy ride called life has been frustrating, exciting, slightly concerning, absolutely insane, and something I don’t know how I would live without, and I don’t intend to find out.

I’ll conclude this letter with a quote from every basic, white girl’s favorite musical, “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

Love you forever,

Your sis

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10 Struggles Of Having A Best Friend Of The Opposite Gender

If you've got a best friend of the opposite gender, then welcome to the best place to reminisce over these hardships your relationship has endured.

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I have many friendships. But one of the ones I cherish the most is my friendship with my guy best friend. There isn't much to our friendship, just the occasional name-calling and our mutual love for the McDonald's drive-thru, but that's what makes it so special: the simplicity of it all.

If you're like me, a girl with a guy best friend, then you know the constant struggles that arise with keeping these friendships. Honestly, it almost isn't worth the hassle - just kidding, sort of. Here I am today to address all of these issues, letting you know that you aren't alone, there are others out there just like you who have to explain to the waiter that he's gonna need to split that check because we are NOT together.

1. Everyone thinks you are dating

just friends

This is the most prominent issue for all male/female friendships, so let's just cut to the chase: we aren't.

2. Your significant others get very jealous

what?

Every friendship has gone through this - whether it is a platonic male/female friendship or a friendship between those of the same gender. Simply put, being in a situation where your friend's significant other doesn't like or trust you, sucks. It happens, and usually, in the end, one relationship gets the split.

3. They don't understand girl code

harry potter

My guy best friend will never know how astounding it was when Jessica got stingy about who could use her makeup or why it isn't okay for Madison to talk to Claire's ex.

4. We don't eat the same amounts of food

friends

I can't hang out with you for more than two days at a time, because a when a guy eats five meals a day (two of those meals being McDonald's) he loses 3 pounds and when I do it I go up a dress size.

5. Shopping is probably out

shopping

I can't seem to figure out why he doesn't like spending hours walking around the mall and bouncing ideas back and forth about what colors make my eyes pop the most. Men are so confusing.

6. Sleepovers are a big no (in high school, at least)

friends

Now that we're in college, sometimes I fall asleep at his dorm or vice versa and it's no big deal. However, back in high school, we weren't exactly having slumber parties and braiding each other's hair.

7. When we're together in public, potential suitors think I'm taken

taken

Since I never get hit on in public, I assume it has to be because I'm always with my male best friend and guys think that we are an item. This has to be why. Case closed.

8. No wardrobe swapping

dancing

I buy my sweatshirts in XL and only in grey and black so he actually has worn those before, but that is the exception, not the rule.

9. He doesn't understand why I have to put on makeup

why

What if my ex is at Target? That's reason enough.

10.  Splitting checks at restaurants is a hassle

eating

We eat out. A lot. And most servers automatically assume that we're on one check. That's fine, really. But we're both paying with a card and my Venmo balance is at zero so now we are at an awkward impasse where I have to explain to you that he's not buying me breakfast. I know, I know, chivalry is dead.

Next to come, all the reasons why having a best friend of the opposite gender is a great experience. If I can manage to come up with more than two reasons...

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