I’m sorry that you feel that you can’t trust me anymore, that in some way I have failed you. I’m sorry that you have lost hope in me being the one that you can turn to, the one that you can rely on. The one that you can tell everything to. I hope that one day I can restore your faith in me. I hope that one day you will understand that you were the last person I ever wanted to hurt. You were the one that I wanted to always have faith in me. I wanted you to look at me and always see a best friend. A loyal person who always has your back. I guess somewhere along the way things changed for you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.
We have always had the relationship where we tell each other everything, it doesn’t matter if it’s just how our day was or if it’s who is breaking our hearts this week. We told each other. I guess recently I got caught up in life and in my schedule that I just kind of stopped telling you things all together. It didn’t mean that I didn’t care. To be honest, things stopped happening. My life got so busy that all I have had time for is my job, college, and the people that I run into during that schedule. I know that sounds horrible, but it’s true. You and I, in a way, were on two completely different schedules and I just kind of stopped seeing you around. I tried to stay in touch the best I could, but you got bitter.
When I did see you all you would do is nag at me, tell me how little time I was spending with you and basically put me down. You made me feel like I was failing and I didn’t need any more negativity in my already stressful life. So I made a schedule to see you on days where I figured it would be your “good days.” Days where you had a less busy day so you wouldn’t be as mad at me for not seeing you as much. Because I missed you so much, but I couldn’t put up with your attitude towards me and life on your bad days.
So it was all working out, or so I thought. I thought we were doing good and everything was great. I mean sure we had our fights every now and then but I mean that was to be expected. Then I found out something and it was like it was all a lie. Did you ever trust me? How much have you not told me? It’s like every word you have ever said to me now is valueless. You were the one person I never expected to ever break my trust. You knew me better than anyone else. We grew up together.
Then I got to thinking beyond those ever-present thoughts. Why did you feel you couldn’t trust me? What was it I did? I still don’t know this answer. And I am so sorry for whatever it is that I did to disappoint you and make you feel like you couldn’t trust me. If you ever find it in your heart to trust me again, nothing would make me happier. I’m sorry for disappointing you.
Love,
The Person Who Never Wanted to Hurt You
