To The Person Who's Only In My Memories
Start writing a post
Swoon

To The Person Who's Only In My Memories, I No Longer Blame Myself For Your Inability To See My Worth

It used to hurt, but now I see us for the lesson it truly was.

6244
To The Person Who's Only In My Memories, I No Longer Blame Myself For Your Inability To See My Worth

I've always been a picture hoarder. No matter what happens with someone or how many pictures I have of the same thing, I hate deleting pictures. They all serve as memories to me, which is something I think is super important.

This is both good and bad. It allows me to constantly scroll through and see all the things I've done and where I've come from, but it also shows me you.

I know we didn't end on terms that would be considered "great" by any means. Honestly, it was rough. After everything ended I was at my lowest of low, not ready to take part in anything during the following months.

I always dwelled over what happened between us, blaming myself. What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I good enough? Would we still be together if I was someone different? How can I change who I am?

I couldn't stop blaming myself. I became obsessed with the idea of not being good enough for you, and in turn, thought I wasn't good enough for anyone. I lost who I was. I walked away from lifelong friendships and shut everyone out because I thought I wasn't good enough and they all deserved more than what I could give them. I didn't let anyone in. It was just me and my thoughts for months.

To be honest, I'm scarred from the things that happened within our relationship and from the way you treated me. It's taken me years to overcome some of those battles, and others I am still struggling with. But, they've helped me grow into the woman I am today.

Our relationship taught me what toxicity truly is. It taught me what not to just overlook within a relationship, and it taught me what standards to hold myself and my future relationships to.

Because of you, I will never let myself be walked all over. Because of you, I will never let someone invalidate my opinion or my responses. Because of you, I will never continue a relationship that is mentally draining in any way. Because of you, I will always speak up when I am uncomfortable.

I stayed with you out of love, but it wasn't love. I sacrificed who I was to become someone else for you, and that still wasn't enough. Never again will I change who I am to please someone else.

You taught me the importance of self-love, respect, and confidence. You taught me to always put myself first.

I can finally say that I can look at you or see our memories together and not feel sick to my stomach. Instead, I'm grateful for the growth I've made and who I am today, and I truly hope you've grown into a better person, as well.

Thank you for the memories, which at the time, were more than I could ever ask for. But more importantly, thank you for being a lesson.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

68476

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1556473

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

969809
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

895623
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

582467
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

370645
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

490262

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments