This week, I have realized a lot of my personal issues have come from me giving too much of myself and doing too much for other people, but nothing in return for myself. I decided to write an open letter to those like me.
People always ask me to do something for them or give them something. Sometimes, it's small things, like borrowing a few dollars. Other times, it's a bit bigger, like asking me to do a group project by myself. Other times, it's a lot bigger, like asking me to console them in hard times.
None of these things are bad to ask for help, and I really, really, enjoy helping people. I am a social work major, and I want to go into mental health counseling. Obviously, I like to think I'm the person my family and friends go to with help from these things. I love to help them, but sometimes, the wrong person will ask too much of me.
There are people in the world who will take, and take, and take, without any thought given. This letter is not for them. This letter goes out to the people who will give, and give, and give, without any thought given.
These people will give the clothes on their back and the hair on their head to someone who doesn't care. They go about their day giving themselves to others, piece by piece. By the end of the day, they are left with an exhausted and withered body. However, they never think twice about this and they don't mind.
This is a letter to you: to the person who goes home at the end of the day with nothing left and gets nothing in return.
You are one of the good ones on this planet. You have a kind soul and a kind heart. You're a good person, and it's really hard work to be a good person in this world.
Not having anything is really tiresome. That's why you should leave a little for yourself and learn to say no. One day, you're going to give your last bit of self and you'll be left with nothing and you'll go absolutely insane.
Saying no is okay, but sometimes really hard. When someone needs you, or when someone needs something, its hard to say no to them. You feel like a bad friend, but really, you're just looking out for yourself.
What these people don't realize a lot of the time, is that YOU have to come before anyone. Putting yourself first is one of the hardest things to do for some people. I have struggled with this concept for a really long time. However, self care is so important to a person's well being. It really is like the saying "You have to love yourself before you can love someone". You have to give to yourself before you can give anything to anyone.
Say no to people who take too much and take advantage of you. Say no to things that will drain you completely, but replenish someone else. Saying no is okay! Taking time for yourself is okay! Go do something that you love to get yourself back.
And to the people who take and take, I hope sometime soon you realize that sometimes all someone needs is a thank you to get them through their day.
Sheetal Tadiparty
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