The life of a perfectionist is not that of which many understand. Feeling the need to plan out every area of your life is not optional in your case, it is a life or death matter. From simple things like grabbing brunch with an old pal, to the next five years of your life, you seem to have a plan for everything. And you could trust that every one of these plans has been thought out to great detail. So what happens when there isn't a plan? What happens when the perfectionist hits a pivotal time in his/her life and there is nothing you can do but see what plays out?
I am that perfectionist, and I am currently having that pivotal moment.
My entire life I have had plans. Plans to go to college, plans to get married, plans to make babies, I had plans for every avenue of my life. Yet here I stand, completely unprepared to make a decision as to what I should do when I graduate college.
I had always thought I would return to my small hometown from college a whole new person, with all this life experience. But I still don't feel like I got all the experiences that I want out of this big beautiful world. I feel like I still need to do loads of things before I return home to settle down.
As someone who made all these plans, I can't help but feel a slight disappointment in my inability to make a decision. Should I change the plans? Should I just go with the flow of my life? Should I stick with the plan, or try something new? With all these thoughts going around in my head, I was overwhelmed!
Until recently, when I read a poem about life. I had been asking for signs for weeks as to what to do with all the tension I felt towards my future, and a friend sent me this in a casual conversation not knowing what it would actually mean to me.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
- Robert Frost
Life is a series of choices. In my life I have always pre-thought every single choice without exploring any other roads. This poem was the kind of reminder that I needed to make sure that I was exploring the correct roads for the life that I wanted. Whether that want be long term and premeditated, or a short term benefiting choice. Either way I was going to stop living the life I had planned when I was 15, and start living the life I want now.
As a fellow perfectionist I understand how hard this time can be when you're so used to planning every detail of your life, but I promise it is worth it to let fate take the reigns for a small time.
If you are going through a hard, pivotal time in your life please just remember to take the time to breathe, and think. If you follow your heart, you'll end up where you're supposed to be.
