To the People Who Don't Think They Deserve More

To the People Who Don't Think They Deserve More

You do.

To the people who don't think they deserve more:

You do. Period.

You. Deserve. More.

More than a call or text at 3 am. More than Netflix and chill nights. More than the "I'll see you at that party Friday night." More than seeing them make out with someone else at that party that they asked you to.

You deserve more.

More than those rushed mornings and ending up alone. More than nights and days of questioning if they care. More than the game that people play of who texted who last.

You deserve more.

More than lies, white or otherwise. More than being a consolation prize. More than feeling like you're not good enough. More than broken plans or no plans at all.

You deserve more.

More than nights of wondering if you get a text. More than tears on your pillowcase. More than wondering if you're good enough, if you'll ever be the one.

So what do you deserve? I'll tell you.

You deserve to have someone whose favorite thing is holding you in the middle of the night or planting that great, big smile on your face.

You deserve to have someone who compliments you just because, someone who is willing to compromise for you, sacrifice for you, be vulnerable for you, and so much more.

You deserve to have someone who picks you first. Someone who wants to show you off. Someone who loves you more than they can imagine.

You deserve to have someone who wants to spend time with you, who will make you not question yourself.

You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated well. Don't let anyone make you feel differently. We, as people, are our own worst critics. We see the worst in ourselves, we think we deserve the worst, but we don't. What we need and deserve are people who see our good qualities, who appreciate them, who bring us up. We deserve the people who will give us the love and care we'd give to someone else, even if it's hard for us to believe, to accept, we deserve the best that can be given to us.

Never settle, never think you deserve less because you deserve more than you give yourself credit for.

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

If your man can rock the dad bod, he's a keeper.


In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod.

Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod.

After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.

So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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10 Ways Formerly Abused Individuals Act Differently In Relationships

Don't get upset with us when we ask if you still want to be with us three times in a row.


Because of our rough past, formerly abused individuals may do things a bit differently. But don't swear us off, because we will love you more than anyone before us.

Here are 10 ways we love differently.

1. We need reassurance more than usual

"Do you still like me?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You sure...?" ... "Positive?"

That is how a lot of my conversations go. We need reassurance more than usual, whether it be about your feelings for us, or even the plans we may have later that night. We may have gotten that reassurance in the past, but, they came out to be false, so we have a hard time believing those who truly mean what they say. When we ask for that reassurance, please don't be upset with us.

2. We are always second guessing, everything

​Every compliment, every smile, every kiss, we second guess. "Are they doing this because they care about me? Or are they just doing this to go with the flow? Are they giving somebody else this attention?" These questions constantly flow through our minds. We have a tendency to second guess every action and word, just because to us, there could always be a negative side to it, and that negativity is what we are used to.

3. Small things trigger our past

This one can get intense. Actions that may not mean much to you can trigger our past and send us into meltdown mode. The slightest change in tone, or the way you look at us, or the way you touch us, may bring up old nightmares, and we shut down immediately. It sucks, and we know you don't mean to do it, but some things just hit us harder than most. This is especially true with a previous physically abusive relationship. The slightest shoulder grab may seem cute and loving to you, but may send our thoughts into turmoil.

4. We have a tendency to ask a lot of questions

This ties in with the first point, reassurance. We have a tendency to ask a lot of questions. We want clarification. Gray areas are pure torture to us. We want a black or white answer. These questions help ease our minds and make us feel more solid about the current relationship. We ask questions about everything and anything; your family, friends, goals, dreams, past, job, school, anything that remotely pops into our head, we will ask about, or we answer every question ourselves with the worst possible answer (even if it's not close to true).

5. We are closed off for a long time, it's difficult to break down our walls

When you first meet us, we may seem bubbly and outgoing. Once that dating stage hits, we become kind of quiet. We're nervous about opening up to you, in fear of scaring you off. We want to talk to you about everything, but we need to ease into that conversation. We want you to ask us questions, we want you to show that you care about us and our well-being. Give us time, and you'll see the true us, and we will treat you the best we can.

6. More often than not, we prefer showing affection in ways other than sex

​Especially if our abusive past involves physical abuse or sex, this is a touchy subject for some of us. We feel safe wrapped up in your arms and staying in for a night. This is where we feel most loved. We prefer hugs and kisses rather than sex. Sex is a very vulnerable position for us, and sometimes, it takes awhile for us to feel fully comfortable in that state.

7. We ask a lot of questions about the people in your life

​We want to know about the people around you, because, more often than not, those people describe who you are, as well. We'll ask questions about how you met your friends and how long you've known them. We'll ask about past lovers. Again, the people in your life tell us a great deal about who you are as a person.

8. If we don't hear from you in awhile, we overthink (again)

If you aren't able to respond for a few hours or you'll be busy, just please tell us. We really don't mind if you can't talk, but, we start to overthink big time if you go MIA out of nowhere. We start to think we did something wrong, we just need that confirmation that we didn't (unless we did, then in that case, please tell us anyways what we did).

9. We are constantly apologizing, even if there is no reason to

​I say sorry all the time, even if I don't think about it. It's a natural reaction to apologize for anything that may cause you stress or discomfort, even if we weren't the ones causing it. It's okay to tell us to stop saying sorry, it will take some adjustment time, but we just want to take the blame for anything causing you the slightest unhappiness.

10. We will give you everything we have, even if you don't deserve it

​Despite our past, we will give you our all. We love the hardest because we know what it feels like to not be loved, or be loved in the wrong way. We will try our best to make you happy. We want to give you the world and show you that regardless of our past, we can love just the same, if not harder.

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