An Open Letter To the People Who Attend Parties
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An Open Letter To the People Who Attend Parties

A lesson about sexual assault

An Open Letter To the People Who Attend Parties
But I Said No Markkula Center for Applied Ethics at Santa Clara University

Dear Drunk Guys,

I get it, you want to get laid. A lot of people want to get laid.

Here's the problem buddy: you cannot grab a random, possibly drunk girl, and grind on her. If she is drunk, she can't consent to your advances, even if she is saying yes and dancing on you. If she is sober, she probably is too uncomfortable to tell you to go away.

Do not get angry with me when I push you away from her. Don't act like I ruined your night. There is no reason to pout when you walk away.

Your drunkenness is not an excuse to sexually assault women. I don't care if you're three beers in or twelve beers in, you have no right to touch girls without their consent. If a girl is drunk, she cannot consciously consent.

The fact that the girl you were on came up to me later during the night to thank me for protecting her from you breaks my heart.

Dear Drunk Girls,

Women protect each other. We have to. You don't have to thank me for protecting you from the drunk guy grabbing your arm. I know you would have done the same thing for me. I'm so sorry men feel entitled to your body.

Please know that the way you dance is not an excuse for guys to invade your space. Your body is only yours. You do not have to share it with anyone you don't want to share it with.

Dear Sober Guys.

Why are you letting other guys harass women. As men, you should do your best to protect women. If for no other reason, do it because those drunk guys are making all men look bad. Guys are more likely to listen to each other than they are to listen to women.

Please watch your friends. Please watch strangers. Please intervene if you see something happening that shouldn't be.

Dear Sober Girls,

Protect other girls. If a guy is dancing on a girl and she doesn't seem into it, ask her if she is okay. It is always okay to ask a girl and be told she's fine. If, however, she's too drunk to consent, pull her away from him. It is okay to seem like a b*tch.

Trust me, the girl will thank you. Please take care of your friends. Please take care of strangers. Please do what you can when you see something happen. If you feel unsafe standing up to someone, grab a friend or two and do it together. There is strength in numbers.

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