To Whom it May Concern:

Hi. I realize that I might not even know you, or I might not even know your child. Even though I might not even know them, I just want to tell you one thing: they are a gift from God, or whatever higher power you believe in. They are such a precious gift, even though they have something known as a mental illness.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of mental illness is: "any of a broad range of medical conditions (such as major depression, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder or panic disorder) that are marked primarily by sufficient disorganization of personality, mind, or emotions to impair normal psychological functioning and cause marked distress or disability and that are typically associated with a disruption in normal thinking, feeling, mood, behavior, interpersonal interactions or daily functioning." I know those are a lot of words, but to sum it up, it basically means your child's brain is wired a little bit differently when it comes to certain things. There are tons and tons of mental disorders that can be found on this list here. They range from the common adult disorders to childhood disorders, to personality disorders to dissociative disorders, to eating disorders to even sleep and wake disorders. There's a list of other mental disorders that can't be put into a single list.

I understand that you might feel that discussion of mental disorders is a bit taboo. You feel uncomfortable talking about it because you think mental illnesses are some forbidden thing that might send chaos throughout your household. No, it's not taboo. Society is actually trying to make it more comfortable for people to talk about mental illnesses. Woo, go humanity.

Now, you're probably wondering: do I have a mental disorder? No, I don't actually. Then how would I know what your child is feeling? you might ask. It's pretty simple: they tell me. They tell me how they feel, how things are going with them. They mention that they feel that they are alone in their struggle, that you--of all people--think what they're going through is just a bunch of nonsense. They say you tell them that they're "overreacting," that they're "thinking too much," that they should just "stop it," that they should just "get over it,"and -- the one saying that bugs me the most - -"it's all in their head." Of course it's all in their head; in the literal sense, that's what a mental disorder is! It all has to do with how your brain is wired.

Question: Did you ever think that your child is acting in a certain way or doing something because of the disorder? They're trying to explain what's going on but you're shutting them down every chance you get. You're pretty much saying how they feel is invalid and foolish and all a joke. It's not a joke. It's actually really hurtful.

It's also hurtful to not just your child, but also to people who have loved ones affected by a mental disorder. "Just stop it, it's all in your head." Gee, I wish sometimes that my cousins that struggle with autism (a mental disorder, by the way) knew it was something that's all in their head, but it's not. It's reality. They, along with my special needs aunt, struggle with their disorders every. single. day. If your child is fortunate enough to at least be able to speak and try to tell you what they're feeling, even though you might not know what they're going through, I sincerely advise you to count that as a blessing. My loved ones struggle with that, and it's something we all take for granted. They're trapped inside their own body.

Question: Did you ever once think about the fact that with your lack of support and understanding, that your child feels trapped inside their own body? They're not even comfortable coming to the two people who are supposed to love them unconditionally.

Acceptance and understanding is key. Listen to your child. Trust me when I say that I'm not bashing the way you parent. I'm just trying to raise acceptance and teach you something so you can be better informed. I care about them, and I know you do too.

One final question: Have I changed your way of thinking, and if so, what are you going to do differently?

Sincerely,

A Girl Who Wants to Change the Stigma Around Mental Illnesses

P.S. You might want to watch this video. It may be extremely useful to you.