Every day our hearts will deceive us. The saying, "you don't know what you have until it is gone" holds such truth but is rarely believed. We are always fast to let go of someone, thinking it is the right decision. Thinking that if we make whatever decision sounds easier, somehow a weight will lift off of our shoulders as if you, yourself, have been holding it there all along. Letting go seems like the easy option in life but with letting go comes regret.
This letter is to you. Yes, you. The one who let the right girl go.
You believed that it would be easier to let go than fix what is broken. You believed that it wouldn't hurt me if you just left but it did. It hurt so badly that I felt a thousand knives in my stomach and food made me gag. It hurt so badly that my mind was like a nascar race and sleep wasn't an option. It hurt me too and you believed that it was easier to just go than keep someone who was willing to try.
You think that you are strong enough to live without me, even if I gave you happiness and much more. You think that you will still be whole. And now, you may be. But I can promise you, the hole in my heart, the piece of me that is missing, you will feel it too. As time passes, you will miss what you once had. Everyday will be a constant reminder of what we once had. You will see us in old couples and in movies. You will hear of what we had in the songs on the radio. You will dream of us even if we haven't spoken. And maybe, by the time that happens, it's going to be too late.
I'll let go of you. I'll begin to live my life, uncontrolled by the thoughts of why I wasn't good enough or why I couldn't be loved. Maybe I will stop saying "no" to dates. Maybe I will stop checking on you. Maybe I will finally delete our pictures and messages. Maybe I will start moving on from you. You will watch me make memories and wish you could be the one in my pictures and the reason of my happy posts. You will miss knowing why I'm sad and ache at the fact you aren't the one I run to anymore.
You will realize it was not worth letting go of someone who only ever loved you. You will regret it. You will regret not appreciating what you already had. You will regret letting go of me. The one person who would have run to the ends of the world in bare feet for you. You will realize what you had was what you have always wanted. You will finally miss me like I missed you. You will think of the way it felt when I uttered the words I love you. Over and over again and you will remember how easily you let the words go in one ear and out the other, soon forgetting I still loved you when you left. And I still do.
