Even after all you've put me through, I still love you.

That's the exact reason you gave me for stabbing my heart through the back: I loved you too much. Apparently, everything you ever said to me about how much you loved and cared about me was a lie. You claimed that you couldn't give that love back to me. That you are capable of it, just not right now.

I truly was under the impression you loved me at some point. Now I'm not so sure. Ever since you claimed you "didn't want to lie any more," I'm looking back and wondering if everything was a lie. If it was, I don't understand why you stayed for so long. If you were lying to me every day, then why didn't you end it sooner?

The more you strung me along, the more I fell for you.

That's what's made this so much more painful. I know that I fell. I fell hard, and I'm not even sure if you fell at all.

Before you gave me an explanation, I was just sad and confused. Now I'm sad and angry. You could have saved me so much pain by ending it sooner.

We did start having the signs of a bad relationship: unreplied texts, unreturned calls, barely even communicating with each other. I always figured that you were busy. I didn't think about the fact that you were pulling away. Looking back, I see that I should have seen the signs sooner, but I was blinded by my love for you.

I know that even if I didn't make that much of an impact on your life, you impacted mine. You inspired me to be a better person and to live my dreams. You showed me how much it is possible for me to love someone. You helped me realize I needed to heal a relationship in my life rather than cutting it out. And I thank you for that.

I still have the urge to tell you everything that happens to me, whether terrible or exciting, just because that's what I got used to doing. To tell you what successes I've had, because at one point I know you would have been proud of me. To tell you what's made me upset, because at one point I know you would have comforted me. But I can't do that any more.

This is only one of the many pieces of writing written about you. It's the only one I'm sharing. Even though I know you'll never see it, because you have no social media whatsoever. I'm hoping maybe sharing our story will help me to get over you.

I still love you, and I probably will for the rest of my life. I know that even though I'm pissed and sad that you suddenly are no longer a part of my life, I don't hate you. If I saw you in public, I would still ask how you're doing. Because I will always care about you. I'll eventually move on. It may take some time, but I will get over the heartbreak you caused. I'm discovering myself again. And I hope someday, somewhere, we meet again. Just so we can catch up, and I can show you how much I am finding myself and growing as a person.

Thank you for being a part of my life, however brief it was.