For a while after you left, I felt broken, ashamed, embarrassed, but at the same time relieved. For three years I lost my voice, my will, my drive. You completely tore me apart and I never knew it until now. This note will not be about me blaming you for everything, but more about what you did to my future.

I was a prisoner of your own selfish game, you kept me around for your dirty work for what, to make you happy. I will never understand how someone can be content with themselves after physically and mentally abusing their girlfriend. I thought you loved me, cared about me, and for that being my first relationship, first love, you completely ruined it for the rest.

My friends knew what you did, your friends knew what you did, your own parents knew what you were doing to me, but no I'm the one that had to lie to everyone, my parents especially about all the bruises, all the black eyes, fat lips and for what? To protect you?

I will never truly understand why I did that for you. Why would I protect someone that never cared about me to begin with? Still now, I look back and wonder what I could have done differently. What else could I have done to avoid the black eyes? What else could I have done to make the fingerprints around my biceps disappear? What else? I blamed myself for so long, that it was my fault that I said or did something to upset you to deserve it. See what you did. I was forced to take it every time because I knew if I tried to stand up for myself, if I tried to fight back, I was only going to make things worse and make the pain last a little bit longer.

Growing up I had no idea I would be one of those individuals. And when I became one, I had no idea that I would just sit there and take it. I used to be strong and fight for what I believed in, what I wanted but no, I learned that doing as I was told, was the best possible answer for me. Writing this makes me sick to my stomach, but it was something that had to be done. Today especially gave me the drive to do so, its been a little over two years since we departed.

For anyone going through this situation, your friends will be there for you there for you through all of it. They will never agree with your decision but will always be there to cheer you up after. But to you, I hope you get the help you need as the truth did eventually come out to everyone and your parents got to see everything. They saw it the night we ended things, as your own father had to hold you back from coming at me again. In a sense, I almost wish you did that night. Nobody was ever around when you did the things you did to me. Your own parents sat upstairs many of the times you had your hands around my throat.

I don't want this all to be about me bashing you for what you did to me because I have been doing so much better since you left. I got my voice and my old friends back and have made so many new ones. There will probably never be a day where you don't cross my mind but minutes are turning into seconds and the seconds are getting shorter and shorter. I really wish you could have changed, not for me but for yourself, because I would hate for someone to go through what I did. And it is incredibly sad to know that so many people go through that every day.

But today, I am happy. Today I woke up, got dressed and went to class with a smile on my face. Went to lunch with my friends and ended up going on a hike. So please although you probably don't think about what you did, I hope you know I will never forget it. We had a lot of highs during those three years, but in the end the bad doubled the good. There's still a lot of life left for us, we were young and so incredibly stupid, but that's a part of growing up. One day I hope you find the help you need or your parents finally help you in doing so, but for now, I hope you live because as much as I am free, so are you.

Sincerely,

So The Truth Speaks