Coming from the girl who is a freshman in college and on her third change of major....You're not alone.
Right now you're at a confusing time in your life. You have different people telling you what you need to do and a constant pressure imposed by society of who you need to be. You're too young to be considered an adult and have your life all figured out, but too old to not be thinking about the general direction you want your life to go. You want to be everywhere and experience everything. You feel messy, you feel confused, and you feel overwhelmed and the worst part is that you feel wrong for feeling this way as if being slightly unsure of yourself is a crime, but I'm here to tell you that it is okay and I promise one day...... you are going to figure it out.
Nowadays there is such a rush to have everything figured out at such a young age that no one takes the time to think about what they really want to do. Everyone is caring too much about money and less about happiness, leading people to choose majors or jobs that are "safe" ignoring completely if it's even what they want to be doing. I was the same way. I was always the girl that had everything figured out...actually, I had everything organized, color coded, and labeled. So when I was a senior in high school and told myself the field I was going to go into, that was that and there was no changing my mind. Even when I first started to become skeptical, I ignored it to avoid the feeling of uncertainty. Yet as time went on, I realized that path wasn't where I supposed to be at all. For a while my decision changing and the state of being so uncertain made me feel like I was a mess, a failure of some sort, and that I needed to get my sh*t together. But then instead of rushing myself to have it all figured out, I stepped back and changed my mindset to realize that having no idea what I wanted was almost...liberating.
Life would be really really dull if we all had a set plan, one goal, and worked only towards that. We often forget that what's really important, as cliche as it may sound, is the journey and self-discovery it takes to get there. It's okay to take the time to figure out who exactly you want to be, where you want to end up, and what you want to do. After all, It's too long of a life to settle just for the comfort of not feeling a little lost. You're never going to know if you enjoy something or if it's meant for you until you just go for it and try it out. You need to learn that it's okay to go out of your comfort zone, it's okay to change your mind, and it's okay to step away from something you realize is no longer for you.
The place you're at right now is where you're supposed to be. So what you have no idea what you're doing right now or what you want to do after school? Does anyone really? You are constantly changing and learning more about yourself as the days go on. So if you find yourself not wanting what you once thought you did, that is okay. You can't know what's right if you don't first know what's wrong. And you can't ever know you found yourself until you first lost yourself. It is never too late to be who you actually want to be and do what you actually want to do.
So to the one feeling lost, I promise the time where everything settles down and you have it all figured out will come. At times it may feel as if you're walking a path with no destination but being lost doesn't always have to be a bad thing. You're choosing to take the risk of uncertainty over the comfort of settling to do something that was never meant for you. And that's a good thing!!
