Yes, we still exist. No, I am not talking about dinosaurs, although in this day in age people would probably consider girls like myself to be dinosaurs: extinct. I was taught to accept women who have accepted their sexuality and taken the more modern, feminist approach. However, virgins are ostracized. We live in a society that is a melting pot of cultures but I don’t seem to feel that we can say the same for lifestyle choices. Why is it that when we hear the terms “good girl,” “respectable” and “virgin" we seem to shun them away or stare in disbelief. How did it get to this? If you choose to live one way, good for you. We should respect the way girls choose to share or not share their bodies. All throughout high school I remained stubborn in my pursuit to remain the good, clean-cut, respectable girl I was. Then, I hit college. Things are much different here. The girls still parade themselves around as meat in their shortest shorts and their tightest tanks, but the expectations seem much higher. I’m talking about the boys’ expectations of us girls. They seem to think it’s okay to text us at 2 AM asking us to come over so we can “watch Netflix." They think it's okay to not take us out on a date. I know I’m not the only girl out there that still seeks chivalry in boys. Unfortunately, many girls have given up on this pursuit of finding a boy who expects a girl to respect herself. Instead, when I text a boy “I’m not that kind of girl,” I don’t see their name ever return to my notification screen.
When I first reveal this bit of news to others I am greeted with an open jaw followed by “No way, really?” “Seriously?” “You’re missing out” or a “Good for you…” (which is a personal favorite of mine because I can see the painful grin they had to push just to get that out). Let me respond to those reactions. Yes really, I'm 100% serious, I’m really not missing out and yes, good for me, thank you very much! This is not something we should be ashamed of. To be quite frank, it’s a lot harder to say no than it is to say yes. We need to detach the negative stigma we have related to a good old-fashioned girl. I found this especially trying in college. Campuses tend to be more liberal, free-spirited and girls like myself tend to get lost in all of it. We are pressured to lose our virginities because it’s something to be embarrassed of and not proud of. This isn’t right. We should do what makes us happy and what is ultimately our choice. So if you are choosing to abstain from sex until marriage or until you find the right guy, you go girl!
I find that when people feel the need to impose their will on others or constantly push their views on you it’s because they’re insecure with their own choices. I don't need to run around pushing my lifestyle choices on all of my friends. I'm confident in the lifestyle choices I've made and I'm quite comfortable being around people or girls who chose otherwise. It's kind of like atheists. Now I have no problem with atheists. My friends are atheists; my brother is sort of one. And that's fine- but while I am Christian I do not feel the need to go around telling atheists how dumb they are, but my brother loves to remind me every day about how naive it is of me to believe in God. Now this obviously works both ways. There are Christians telling non-believers that they'll end up in hell. But neither is right. Let's all agree to disagree. After all, isn’t that the beauty of the country we live in?
If there is one piece of advice that I can leave you with today, it’s that you are not alone. Others may call you a prude, weird, boring or lame, but remember you are you. You are strong and you are confident enough in who you are that you don’t have to give yourself up to some one night stand with a boy who won’t even remember your name the next day. I’m speaking as a voice in demanding the respect of all different lifestyle approaches. We need to respect them. For all my good ole’ fashion chicks out there, stay strong and keep up the good work. And remember some things are worth waiting for. ;)
XOXO
