Many of us have been in relationships. Some that did not end well or things just didn't work out. When getting out of a relationship we take time to ourselves; to be happy again, to realize our worth and to obviously put our exes behind us and make it all history. We realize it is time to focus on ourselves and our happiness along with our future.
We get to the point when we are ready to open up to someone and maybe date again. For me, it is a scary thought. To get into a relationship after everything I've been through is a lot. You have this thought set in your mind of how your next relationship will be based on your previous one. This is obviously not a good thing to do because you should always hope that the next person will treat you better. First, what you should realize is that that will not happen. You can only get better from here. Second, you can't help but be scared of the past happening again. However, it's okay to open up your heart again.
To the next person who takes my heart,
I'm not going to lie, I am not an easy person to love. At least I don't think so. This is what you need to understand before this gets serious... I'm scared. I'm scared of doing all of this again... this relationship thing.
I'm afraid everything will happen again. All the bad parts of the last relationship I had. I'm scared it won't work out and I just wasted my time on another guy. What you need to understand is that I want this to work.
I'm going to get you annoyed and frustrated and so I am going to apologize ahead of time. This is me. A girl with a broken heart who told myself I would never let myself get hurt again. And here I am opening my heart up to you. I'm trusting you and I told myself I wouldn't feel like this for anyone for a long time. My last relationship left me like this and I don't want you to think it's your fault, because it's not.
I am going to ask you all the time if you are sure you want this, want me. I have it set in my mind that something is wrong with me. Please don't think I am trying to push you away. That's not the case. I'm just trying to protect my fragile heart.
I will be distant at times. I will be afraid to make you mad by saying the wrong thing. It takes me a very long time to fully open up to someone. Please be patient with me.
But here's something I want you to know. I will love you with all my heart. I will always be there for you know matter what. I'm the type of girl who will be happy as long as you're happy. I put my all into a relationship. As I am working on myself, I am hoping you will help me as well.
I will always be scared in the back of my mind. But I am hoping you can help me with this; with realizing there's nothing to be afraid of. That you'll be here for me because I'll be there for you. That the past is in the past and that the future is a whole new chapter in my life.
Love,
A girl who is still putting broken pieces back together.
