Dear the man who wasn't there,

I loved you.

I was such a Daddy's girl that I would have given you the world. I remember you when you were the good dad, the one who was there. The one who was the protector and joker. I remember you joking and pulling pranks on me and my brother and I remember you loving us like your life depended on it. I remember you saying you would always be there for us.

You lied.

I trusted you and believed in you. What happened? I needed you and you failed me. I remember the times when you required me to be the parent even though you were there. Why? You were my hero. Yet, you decided to be absent during the most important times of my life. Through me graduating high school to going to college. You will miss my graduation from college and me going to law school. You will miss me getting married and having children. You won't be the one to walk me down the isle and give me away.

I know what you will do to make yourself feel better though. You will blame it on my mom even though as much as you wished she would, she never told us that she blamed you. You will blame it on a past you didn't deal with when it happened. You could have been great. You knew what it was like to grow up without a father. Why did you make your children feel the same? I hoped that you would one day be man enough to face your mistakes. Yet here I am angry and bitter at your mistakes. I called for attention when you first left, yet when you showed up, you had alcohol on your breath. I learned soon you wouldn't be no matter how much I called for your views.

You don't even know my sister and you never will. She doesn't even know your face. How sad is that? She will have to grow up wondering about a man who doesn't care enough to wonder about her. Remember that your son had to grow up without a father as well. He is a man now and you played no part in that. He is going to go to college in a few months and you cannot even tell me what he wants to do for the rest of his life. You will never know any grandchildren that may come. You will never see the kind of people we are now and it is your loss. You will never get to feel pride at our success.

I will tell you this, though, we are all better off without in our lives. We no longer have to take a beer from your hand after you passed out just so it won't spill on the couch. We don't have to watch as you slowly cave in on yourself as you face the past that should have long been dealt with. We are happy and healthy and have had an amazing life and I want you to know you had nothing to do with that. My mom did. You will live your life wondering what your daughters and son thought of you at the very end. Now you will know.

Sincerely,

The one you left