Dear college freshman,
I know some days you feel as if you want to transfer. You think this is not the place for you. You have friends but you don’t have a core group. You don’t go out with the same exact people each weekend and you don’t have people to get food with 24/7. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re doing college correctly. You haven’t found your group yet because we have only been here for a little more than six months. No one is supposed to form lifelong friendships in that short amount of time. You need time to remember that being picky about who you’re going to share your closest thoughts, feelings, and memories with is okay. Also, trying out multiple groups before you find your place is good. Here are my tips for the college freshman who hasn’t found their place yet:
1. Attend random events
Even if you have no one to go with, if you hear about an event on campus that interests you, GO! Whether it’s Bingo on a Friday night or playing with puppies in the quad one afternoon, go experience everything. You are going to meet your best friends in the least expected places. By attending events that you are interested in, you are going to find other people with similar interests to yours. Follow all your school’s Instagram accounts, sign up for emails, and look out for flyers and posters. Attend anything and everything, even if you’re a little hesitant about it. (At least go for the free food or t-shirts.)
2. Get to know everyone in your residence hall.
Just because you are scared to venture down the hall or upstairs, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Your best friend is not automatically going to be your roommate or suitemate, it actually usually is not. Say hi to everyone and try to make small talk with the kid who so nicely opened the door for you or who you’re with in the elevator. Small talk can lead to way more, you just have to start somewhere. Even if it’s the second semester already or you’ve never said hi to the awkward kid down the hall, now is your time to start. Talk to anyone, anywhere, and at any time- you won’t regret it.
3. Join a team or club.
Before college, I could only throw a frisbee into the ground and my volleyball skills were simply sub-par. If either of those sports came up in High School gym class, I would be less than interested and probably act sick. In college, however, people love when you are willing to embarrass yourself. Join a random intramural team or try a club sport that you have always wanted to master. Join clubs related to volunteering or kicking cancer, or anything. Join obscure clubs like robot club or knitting. Try everything you have ever even thought about doing in your lifetime. I mean, your parents pay fifty grand for college anyway… might as well join some stuff to make it even more worth it. Your best friends could be waiting for you, all you have to do is pick up the pen and sign up.
If you haven’t found your place yet, do not fret. I know people who did not meet their best college buddies until at least until junior year. Also, your best friends do not have to attend the same school as you. Join organizations around your campus and keep in touch with high school friends and others too. People will care about you and you will find people with the same interests and values as you. Be patient, put yourself out there, and smile.
