I will always remember the time I asked my mother for a brother or sister. I had to be about seven years old. "Nope," she responded, without any hesitation. A chuckle followed her heartbreaking response.
After moping around the house, it became all too clear to my mother that I was in desperate need of a little buddy. One day, I came home to the sister I had always dreamt about: a life-size brown-skinned doll, with long black braids, in a custom-made dress. She was a baddie. Almost as tall as me. I don't recall ever giving her a name, but alas, my "dream" had finally come true.
I'd play with her every day. I vividly remember busting her lip wide open one time. I had to stitch it back together. Immediately, she became my patient. If she ever needed to return an item, I was there as her cashier. Her makeup artist. Hairstylist. Personal chef. We were sisters.
I later realized she wasn't enough. She eventually retired as a sister (harsh, right?) and became just another doll.
Being an only child can be tough.
"What is it with people wanting to be an only child?" I used to muse.
As I've aged, I've learned to appreciate my "only-ness." There's no one to bicker with nor hold grudges against. No one to be forced to forgive. No one with whom to share my food, bathroom, or secrets.
There's no competition. As spoiled and entitled as it sounds, you pretty much get whatever your heart desires. You can have alone time whenever you please. Your parents' love isn't divided. You mature a little bit faster.
Although these sound like blessings, I can't lie and tell you it's all rainbows and sunshine in an only child's world. Perks of being an only child are constant reminders that you are the only child. You have to eat all the veggies and the blame will always be on you. There's no one to bicker and make bets with (besides your parents). No one to hold grudges against. No one to forgive. No one to share your food, bathroom, or secrets with.
At times, these are the moments you'll wish you had a sibling. Some competition to spice things up in the house, like who's the smartest or the prettiest. You'll wish to have someone to share memories and stories with after getting home from school.
It gets pretty lonely. You don't have a sister or brother's shoulder to lean on when you're moody. But these are the times when you're forced to be a little more resilient and a lot more flexible. You learn to lean on friends for love, stability, and support. Loneliness is normal, but it's what you make of it and how you choose to live your life.
I'm glad to be an only child. I've found that if the shoe fits, you have the freedom to make anyone your little or big brother or sister. The freedom to kick them to the curb if their energy doesn't match yours and not feel guilty.
As funny as it sounds, that doll was the closest thing I had to a sister (until the bestie came into my life). Although she had no choice, she was always at home waiting for me to share my "deepest" secrets. She was always there when I was sad or upset. She was always there to listen to my goofy stories.
For years she's been stuffed in a large black trash bag, undressed, with multiple puncture wounds. I'm glad that the doll was all I had.
