Hey,
How are you? I feel like this is when I should tell you how much I miss you, but a part of me, actually my entirety, knows you don’t care anymore. If you did, then we’d probably still be friends or something, right?
It’s been months since we last talked, who would’ve seen that coming? I know I definitely didn’t and it kills me that this is our new reality. So much has happened since we last spoke, and the sad part is that I still want you to know it all. Isn’t that twisted? That even though we’re no longer friends, I still want to tell you all the things I used to, I want you to know everything that's going on in my life, the good and the bad. And it hurts because you’re not that person to me anymore, you're no longer the person I can go to about anything and everything.
You were the one person I was supposed to be able to count on for anything. You weren't even just "the one person" I was supposed to count on, you were "my person" who I could count on. You used to be a phone call away, but suddenly you stopped answering. You were supposed to always look out for me, but then you were talking and dating behind my back. We were supposed to be friends or together forever, but the next thing I knew, we were growing further and further apart and nothing was the same anymore. Nothing was recognizable anymore, not even you.
But I guess that’s life. Nothing is consistent and no one owes you anything. And even though we’re not even friends anymore, I still want to thank you. Thank you for being my best friend and for dealing with everything that comes with that, the good, the bad and the ugly. Thank you for the nights we stayed up until the sun came up, just talking and laughing about everything we once bonded over. Thank you for being honest and genuinely caring about me for as long as you did. Thank you for taking me for me, and never letting other’s judgments get in the way. Thank you for never sharing all of my deepest, rawest secrets that I shared with you on those late nights. And thank you, thank you, thank you for being the best friend I needed during that part of my life.
Even though we are no longer even friends, I just want you to know that I could never hate you. Trust me, I’ve tried. It sounds awful, but I thought it would be easier to get over losing you if I could hate you, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was hurt when you left and I'm still hurt to this day, but I will never hate you, I will always cherish you. You were my best friend. And despite how things ended up, because of that, I will always be thankful that you were apart of my life for as long as you were.
I still scroll through pictures of us and smile. I see screenshots of old conversations we had and I can't help but laugh at how silly we used to be. And whenever I see something that reminds me of you or an inside joke that we once had, I almost always almost send it to you because I know you'd find it just as funny as I do. But I suck it up and keep it to myself because I know that hearing from me is the last thing you want nowadays. I don’t think there will ever be a day when you don’t cross my mind at least once, but the sadness and hurt are fading, and I’m learning to look at you as a cherished memory.
Everyone chooses their paths in life, and I guess your path just no longer intertwined with mine. I hope you’re happy, because I really do wish you the best. I hope you’ve found someone new to spend this chapter of your life with, and I hope you make her just as happy as you made me for so very long.
I hope life is treating you well, I'll always be sending good vibes and well wishes your way.
XOXO,
The Girl You Spent Years Loving, Yet Walked Away From So Easily
