I always told myself I would never let a guy define me. I am a strong independent woman who can actually survive without a guy in her life. But then you came along and changed my views. You showed me happiness, love and gave me memories that would last forever. At least that's what everyone saw. In reality you brought me down. You made me become distant towards my friends. You made me realize exactly what I am worth and that I will never settle for anything less than what I deserve.
On social media we portrayed the cutest couple. Going on fun dates, taking cute pictures and surprising each other with gifts. But that was a front. What people didn't see was how we always argued. How the arguments were always my fault and how you tried to control me. I was blind to it for a while. I deleted friends from my life, I found myself turning down invites from friends just to go hang out with you. I was always justifying your actions and our fights with "No couple is perfect" and "Everyone argues sometimes." I found my relationship with God slipping because instead of being with someone who was going to help me get to Heaven, I was with someone who was hindering me from being the best Christian I could be. That's when I hit my breaking point.
I realized that I've let you control who I talk to, what I do and how I acted for long enough. I deserved to be with someone who treated me better and someone who was going to support me in my decisions, love my family and friends the way I do and someone who was going to pray for me, with me and help me get to Heaven. Going through my first break up was not easy. I kept telling myself I did not need a guy to define me and that God would send me the right guy when he thought I was ready. Did it take a while to get over you? Yes. But I did it. Did it hurt for a while? Yes. Did I find out things that happen in our relationship that broke my heart even more? Yes. But you come to a point in toxic relationships where you can't take it anymore.
I do want to thank you though. Thank you for helping me realize my worth. Thank you for making sure I never settle for just anyone in the future. Thank you for changing your number so I can never contact you again. Thank you for proving my parents right when they said you weren't for me. But most importantly thank you for letting me go. Leaving you at the time might have been hard but I am the happiest I have ever been right now. I am a stronger Christian, better daughter, sister and a friend who is actually present and able to come when needed.
I don't hate you. I will never hate you. I am at peace with what happen between us and I wish you the best in life.
