It's been so long since I've seen you. I often wonder what you'd look and sound like today after all these years. Would you still be wearing those glasses with the thick lenses? Would you still use those quick, witty one-liners that had everyone laughing until they cried? I try to remember you by looking at old pictures or home movies. You look so happy. We look so happy. Your illness took you away from this world much too soon.
This message is to let you know I love you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I used to briefly greet you then run off to play hide-and-seek with my cousins. I'm sorry I didn't ask you for more advice and stories or even just sit and chat with you about random things. I'm sorry I didn't learn as much as I could from you. I'm sorry I became somewhat distant when I heard you were dying. I'm sorry I became so afraid instead of being strong for you. I truly wish I could go back in time and change these things.
Since you've left this world, I've slowly figured out that you won't be at my graduation, my wedding or at the hospital if and when I decide to have children, and holidays just aren't the same without you. My heart breaks each and every time I think about this. Why did you have to get sick? Life sure isn't fair.
Some days I don't want to believe you're actually gone, and sometimes my disbelief turns into anger. Why did God choose to take you away and not someone else? However, it's in these difficult moments I finally find peace and comfort. Whether it be a penny on the ground, a random ray of sunshine on a rainy day or someone unknowingly using your favorite catchphrase, I know you're watching over me.
I promise to keep your memory alive and honor your time here on Earth. Just know we'll meet again someday. Miss you and love you always.