Dear Emma Terry in Heaven,

Golly it's been a long time. Almost five years without you. Yet, it seems like just yesterday I was playing beauty parlor with you in your bedroom.

It's said that a grandmother holds our tiny hands for just a little while but our hearts forever. I don't know if this could be any more accurate of you.

I have times where all I want to do is pick up the phone and call you. To hear your voice radiate in my ears and your smile to diminish the tears.

Grieving you was so hard, adapting to not seeing you everyday was a struggle I faced like a stone being thrown at my heart.

I have days where all I do is remember. I remember you telling me stories of ballerinas dancing through the ballroom. I remember going out to dinner and waiting for you to finish your food, because you ate like a perched bird. I remember how even when you were sick with cancer you still managed to get up every morning with a smile on your face.

I want you to know that I still think about you.

I still miss you.

I still wish I could have one more feeling of your smile in my day.

I also want you to know that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I can't live up to you. When you went to heaven, everyone told me that I was so much like you. So happy and positive all the time, I was just like Terry. There are such high expectations to continue having your presence in this world, and I don't think I've done a good enough job. With that, I'm so sorry.

I used to say that your smile will light up the sky and I'll try to keep lighting up the world yet, I find it to be harder and harder to ignite this dark place.

Emma Terry, I wish I could give you one more hug, talk to you one more time, laugh one last laugh. But I can't.

Can you hear me talking to you?

Can you see me crying for you?

Can you help me be like you?

The only way I got through your death was thinking of hope, at your eulogy I told the story of the ship. "But now this ship has taken off to heaven and as she sits on the seat, she hears the cries of us on Earth. She is breaking through the sound barrier to Heaven, and there she hears laughing with joy, her mother, father, god, everyone she knew in our world who has passed jumps with glee saying, "Terry!! You're here!! You made it!! We've been waiting for you!"

Emma Terry, I hope that you're enjoying it up there. I hope it's exactly what you want it to be, but I hope you haven't forgotten about me, and everyone else in the world. For we haven't forgotten about you, and we never will.

Rest easy Emma Terry I'll see you someday.

Your lovin granddaughter and hopeful sucesser,

Sarah