Dear girl with "daddy issues,"

I feel your pain. I understand your heartbreak. I recognize your fake smile. I can spot a girl who grew up without a dad completely or a girl whose father chose to walk out of her life. Why? Because I, too, have "daddy issues".

"Daddy issues" is a phrase that continues to hold a negative connotation. When people think of girls with daddy issues, they often picture a trashy, crazy, insecure, drug addicted, raunchy girl. But we know that's not who we are or what we're about. Sure, there are certainly traits we possess that are direct effects of being fatherless. But we don't let those traits define who we are as women.

Growing up without a father can really screw you up. Whether you had a relationship with him that faded or had a father who just wasn't interested in being a part of your life, you need to give yourself some credit. Look at how far you've come without him. Although it would have been nice to have him around, did you really need him after all? If you had an amazing mother like I did, then you certainly didn't need him. But even if your mother wasn't all that great, you still managed to form into the beautiful person you are today. You have so much to be proud of. You made it through your most difficult times, your biggest struggles, your worst days and your scariest moments all without your dad.

However, having an absent father has some seriously negative effects on a daughter. I'm sure you've felt unwanted, not good enough, unloved, or even forgotten at times. Maybe you cried every year when all your friends left for the Father/Daughter Dance and you stayed home to watch TV. Maybe you fell in love too quickly because a man came along and showed you what it felt like to be loved. You got too attached. He called you crazy and clingy so you cried some more. You silently blamed your dad's absence for your relationship issues. You look for attention from guys, even guys who you are not actually interested in. When a guy smiles at you (even a stranger), for a second, that void in your heart is filled and you are reminded that someday, somebody will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Maybe your heart aches every single day but you don't know it any other way, so when you get a little attention, you immediately blow it off and shove him away. Maybe you feel unworthy of being loved. Maybe you push away the people who love you most, without even realizing it or without meaning to. Maybe you don't know how to express love. Maybe you're uncomfortable or maybe you're just a little lost.

But what people don't know about girls with daddy issues is that they have an enormous heart and although they may struggle with some deeper issues, these girls love the hardest. These girls have the ability to make anyone smile or laugh. These are the girls who care the most about people who are depressed, suicidal, hurt, angry or lost because they know what it feels like to hit rock bottom and they don't want anyone else to feel it. These are the girls who never let you feel alone because they know what alone feels like. These girls don't let you live feeling unloved or unwanted because they know what that feels like too. These are the girls who go out of their way to make your day or to give you what you need. These are the girls you never want to let go of because they make amazing friends, despite the things people may say about girls with "daddy issues".

So again,

Dear girl with "daddy issues",

I hope you recognize your strength. I hope you never underestimate your ability to love. I hope you understand that although it is unfortunate you have an absent father, you have become an incredible woman because of it. You're strong. You're bright. You're brave. You are a lot of things. You have capabilities that you don't even know you have. You have the amazing ability to make people feel special and important. You put in great efforts to improve the lives of your friends and families. You may not know how to show it all, but your love for your friends and family is the greatest love you know. But the love you need to work on is the love for yourself. Those times of feeling unwanted and unloved have hurt you but they have NOT destroyed you. You are so much more than another girl with "daddy issues". You are a beautiful woman, an inspiration, and a role model. So, if you get one single thing out of this entire article, it should be this; It's not you who is missing out, it's your father.