I've been acting since I was 13, so I'm not a stranger to the stage. Something incredible happens when I try to audition for a musical, though, the croak of a frog comes out instead of a note.
I've sat in jealousy before straight play rehearsals start as everyone circles up and starts a perfect rendition of "Seasons Of Love."
I spend an embarrassing amount of time in the shower practicing breathing techniques, belting the most off-key note I've ever heard.
I dream of playing Rizzo in "Grease" or Regina in "Mean Girls," lip-syncing to the cast recordings into a mirror. If I ever wake up with a magic ability to belt a F5, maybe I can finally audition for the local production of "Heathers."
I should give it a rest now; I'm 20. I think I would've been able to find a harmony by now if I could.
Or maybe, I'm being too harsh on myself. I'm told all the time, there are roles for me! Musicals are becoming more diverse -- just look at Brittain Ashford singing "Sonya Alone!" That would be a fantastic role for me!
If I could stay on key.
The sad truth is, I can't. No matter how many choir teachers spend extra practice time with me telling me to sing out, no matter the amount of times I wash the dishes and try to harmonize to different songs, no matter how many vocal warm ups I do, the fact of the matter is my voice is just not strong enough to carry a musical.
This isn't for lack of trying. I've gotten roles before. Ensemble! Ensemble. FEATURED ensemble. Don't get me wrong, I love learning a good dance number and playing a slutty sorority member in Legally Blonde just as much as the next gal. However, how nice would it be to be Maureen, like, once?
I think I'll just stick to Shakespeare... unless anyone wants to donate to a GoFundMe for singing lessons.
To my fellow frog croak singers, I see you. See you at 7 PM for ensemble rehearsal.
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