Internalized sexism. Of the 500 or so words that will appear on this page, those two have to be the first.
We all know at least one girl who has declared that she "hates girls," usually followed by a rolling of the eyes or an indignant sigh. I, myself, am a former girl-hater. It was only for a moment of my third-grade life, when I really wanted to play wall ball with some of the boys on the play ground. They informed me I could play under one condition: I had to admit that boys were better than girls. "Pssh, of course boys are better than girls," rolled off my tongue with no hesitation.
I didn't actually believe that, so why did I say it? As soon as the words left my mouth I felt sick to my stomach, regret burned in my throat and that statement still haunts me today. The joke was on me; however, because that same game ended with me breaking my wrist after slamming into the brick wall. Divine retribution, I guess.
Other than just learning not to run full speed at stationary objects, I learned why girls spew these insults against their own gender. I never actually believed boys were better than girls, but I wanted to be liked and accepted by, not just the boys, but everyone. The image that the media generally paints of women and girls is one of a weak, untrustworthy, unintelligent, and superficial airhead, among many others. I mean, how many times do we have to watch the same story of the damsel in destress being saved by her prince charming?
The majority of women in movies, television, Instagram, or Facebook, are objects for other characters and the viewers to over sexualize or desexualize, usually on a basis of their appearance. When everyone is fed this image their entire lives, not only do boys begin to accept it, but so do girls, as everyone is a product of their environment.
Women are then taught to both embody these stereotypes while resenting and rejecting them at the same time; hence that magical phrase, internalized sexism. Nobody wants to have these negative identifiers tied to them, so they look to the accepted archetype, the boy! Have you ever seen a boy sitting there, frustrated with his life, and heard him exclaim "God, I just hate boys!" Absolutely not! It may be easier to be a boy in this sense, but that is no reason to hate girls. We didn't ask for this dichotomy, or create it.
Simply to be a girl is an insult. To run like a girl, talk like a girl, cry like a girl, are among some of the worst things you can do on the playground. These prejudices don't stay on the playground, however, they stick with men and women throughout their entire lives. These girls who claim to hate girls actually hate the archetype of what a girl should be.
You're not "just a guy's girl", you are a unique, maybe complicated individual. You have ideas, mannerisms, and beliefs that are particular to you because you're you, not because of your gender.
Basically, let's all build our fellow women and ourselves up, instead of tearing each other down, kapeesh?
