Dear My ex-BFF,
You have to be the luckiest person on the planet to find someone you can call "your person."
What's funny, though, is that I thought I was because I thought I had.
I thought you were going to be there to cheer me on at graduation, to stand beside me in my wedding and spoil my children -- if and when any of those days ever came.
Until those days, I thought I could count on you to have my back, to eat (or drink) an unnecessary amount of carbs.
You were supposed to be the Cristina Yang to my Meredith Grey, the Selena Gomez to my Taylor Swift, and the Peyton Sawyer to my Brooke Davis.
Instead, you became my Serena Van der Woodsen to my Blair Waldorf. We always had our ups and downs in our friendship, just like Serena and Blair, but always found a way back to one another just like them until they finally did the unthinkable... went their separate ways for what seemed like forever.
I guess our permanent expiration date came a lot sooner than I ever could have anticipated. The friendship became volatile and eventually evaporated. It is something that I look back on and still sometimes shed a tear, but I also know it is for the best.
Despite everything that was left unsaid, undone and completely abandoned I have never felt stronger. I didn't think I could do this thing called life without you by my side. Because of you I realize that if someone lies, is shady, doesn't trust me, or goes behind my back to stab me then they aren't worth it.
I cried and cried because I thought I was crazy for wanting you back in my life after everything. I now know I'm not crazy, I'm human, I have compassion. I try to believe everyone has some good in them and if not I believe in a good dosing of karma.
No matter what happens to you, if karma ever catches up to you, I sincerely wish the best for you. I hope you graduate in a field you love/ I hope you find someone to spend the rest of your life with. I hope you have babies one day. More than anything I hope you never have to go through the same heartbreak I felt when I lost having you in my life because it isn't something I would ever wish on anyone.
You used to be my person. The one I could call to vent to about anything under the sun because I knew if anyone was going to be able to understand it would be you. But now, you are another obstacle that I can say I conquered and for that, my dear old friend, I thank you. Thank you for making me stronger, for making me realize that anyone is replaceable because life is way too short for people who don't appreciate you in their life.
