Dear Girl Who Talks,

If you’re anything like me, you just have a lot on your mind that you want to share with people. You want to involve them in your day and in your life. You don’t mean to talk over people, to drone on about a subject, to annoy everyone within a ten-foot radius of you, and you really just don’t mean to ruin friendships. You just want to share your thoughts and opinions. But if you’re like me and you’re a girl who talks, there are a few lessons you’ll need to learn.

Firstly, you will need to learn to listen. I don’t just mean that you’ll need to learn to listen to others around you talk, but that you’ll need to learn to listen to them and their body language. Sometimes (or more often than not in my case) people will simply sigh and let you continue rather than interrupt you and possibly hurt your feelings. Most commonly these are the introverts, the ones that we often seem to be friends with. They are more than willing to sit quietly for hours and listen, but they often have things they want to say too. They just need to be asked or given a chance. Watch them closely. If they seem tired of listening to you then ask if they have something to say. If they seem bored with what they’re saying, ask about their life. Trust me, you’re not the only one with an interesting life.

Secondly, you’ll need to learn who to open up to. If you’re anything like me, you want to have a lot of people that you can turn to and who understand you. Therefore, you share with them your life and its problems. But that can only hurt you more. And the pain isn’t worth the openness and trust lost in that person. Try to be more selective in who you choose to open up to and bother with how open you can be. Again, asking you to trust me here, but you’ll find that if you’re just a bit more selective then you’ll be a lot less hurt. And in line with this one, be more intentional about what you choose to open up about as well. Not everyone needs to know everything.

Thirdly, you’ll need to learn to care. So many talkative girls that I’ve know that they talk a lot and don’t give others a chance, and yet when I ask them why they talk so much and don’t give others a chance, a lot of them simply say that they “don’t care what the other person has to say.” That puts the other person down, demeaning them and saying that they simply don’t matter as much as what you have to say. I’m asking you to trust me just one more time, but trust me, they’ll be a lot more willing to listen to you talk for hours if you let them talk as well. Your friends aren’t your counselors, they’re your friends.

These are the three lessons that, as a girl who talks, I’ve learned that have helped me grow my relationships with people around me.

From one girl who talks to another,