“I wish nothing was ever complicated for you. I wish that no one would ever mess with your head and send you mixed signals. Then acted like they were so into you one day and blew you off the next. I wish nobody would wait two days to text you back. Because you know they had their phone in their hand the whole time. Because I want things only to be simple for you. I want you to be happy because you deserve it. And you deserve people being honest with you.” –Taylor Swift

To the girl who can’t seem to walk away from the guy who makes her feel like she is never enough:

Let me start by saying that if he doesn’t call you, it's because he doesn’t want to call you. If he doesn’t invite you to go out, it's because he doesn’t want to see you. If he treats you horribly, it's because he doesn’t care about you. If he lets you go, it's because he doesn’t want to be with you. Don’t keep playing his game. Stop justifying his excuses and put yourself first. You DO NOT need someone like him. You DO NOT need a guy that doesn’t know what he wants. You DO NOT need a guy that doesn’t see your worth and how amazing you are. You DO deserve a guy that knows your worth and fights for you every day. Stop going back to him. Give yourself the opportunity to be happy and be with a guy that actually deserves you and shows you how you should be treated because you are worth it and you deserve it.

People are sometimes like habits. When they are bad habits, they seem harder to walk away from. Before you know it, you’re running in the same circles you have many times before. The voice in the back of your mind asks, “Why did you text him back?” “Why did you go back to him?” “Why are you letting him back in your life again?” Because just as quickly as he came back, he left.

He’s like a hurricane. You know when evacuation warnings come blaring, but you still choose to stay with him. You go back to him because there is a fascination to him, there is something that continues to draw you in and make you come back to him. The risk of going back to him keeps things exciting, and there is always that question of how far are you willing to go for him, and what is the real risk of it? Every storm causes destruction, especially the one he causes every time you find yourself running back to him. After the storm is over, you are always left to pick up the pieces, and just like every other time, he is gone again. I praise you for your strength in surviving the storm every time. Because just like you, I know what it’s like to be that girl that, no matter how many times he leaves you and comes back and then leaves again, continues to stay with him. I know how it feels to be that girl that can never say no to chasing the storm.

You should know, though, that while some of his damage is visible, most of the damage is invisible and is within yourself. You aren’t meant to endure all of the things he has put you through. I know you might not be able to see it or want to believe it. You don’t want to believe that it’s affecting you or taking a toll on you. He leaves whenever he wants to because he knows you will let him and continue to go on with your life until he feels like coming back into our life. Even though you might not realize it or don’t want to accept it, it’s tearing at you from the inside out, and one day, you aren’t going to recognize the person looking back at you. One day, he will have completely destroyed you. One day, you’ll struggle to have a normal relationship because you don’t even know how to respond to normal. And like the many times he has left you, in that time you'll meet a decent man, who wants to stay. You’ll end up missing out on someone great because you cared more about chasing the storm than you did about realizing what was right in front of you.

I’m here to tell you that I know what’s it’s like to not think that letting him leave and come back into your life whenever he wants is not that big of a deal. I know what it’s like to drop everything for him when he does nothing but tear you apart emotionally. I know what it’s like to feel that gravitational pull toward someone who is nothing but toxic for you. You feel you need them, like a drug that is going to kill you. You think one more hit won’t do any harm. And maybe that time, it won’t. Maybe the next hit won’t or the one after. But after enough times, it will end up killing you. Not literally, but mentally and emotionally. After enough times, you won’t recognize the person looking back at you.

So, from somebody that knows what it is like to be “that girl,” I ask you to respect yourself enough to not make the mistakes I have. When he texts you, don’t reply. When he calls, decline it. Block his number and stop playing this game. Because it takes two to play this game, and trust me, you have no way of winning when he’s the one making the rules.

He will hurt you, he will change you, and he will end up ruining you in the end. He is a habit you have to learn to break. He is a habit that I promise you can break. Most of all, he is a habit you’re a hell of a lot better off without.

“And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's FEARLESS to stop believing them. It's FEARLESS to say you're NOT sorry and walk away.” -Taylor Swift