20 years old-- that constitutes 20 years of life. 20 years of learning different things, embracing different situations and truly experiencing 20 years of different feelings. People tell you your first heartbreak will be the worst, and it'll be one that you don't know how to handle, because it's something you haven't handled yet. It's tough, you'll cry, and you'll wonder what you did wrong. You'll wonder why you weren't enough and she was and everything you ever did will re-cross your mind. For a while I called bullshit on the concept of moving on- but it happens.
So, To The Girl Who Finally Moved On,
You finally realized it's time. It's time to take the steps forward to truly move on. Moving on means different things for different people but you finally realized what it means for you, and I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for realizing you're still worthy of love. I'm proud of you for realizing you're still worthy of someone who cherishes you and wants you in every which way. Heartbreak takes a toll on not only the heart but the mind as well. It sends your mind in 200 ways, a downward spiral of constant questions. Because the heart heals quick, oh that only takes a few days, but what doesn't heal is the mind- that's what takes months.
For me, moving on was all about acceptance. Acceptance is key, accepting whatever needs acceptance. Accepting he was not the one, or that I don't need someone to complete me, but to complement me. Acceptance is hard though, because its re-hashing and re-surfacing everything that hurt you so deeply, and realizing the people who have been hurt the most are the strongest people. It's acceptance that just because you wanted something doesn't mean it had to happen and accepting that you can't be mad at someone for changing their mind. It's sitting back and realizing how silly that sounds, being mad at someone for simply changing their mind on what they wanted. Changing your mind does not invalidate all that was thought and loved before. Everyone cannot be happy in the same way, the world does not work like that- and everyone's version of the word happy differs- accept his was different than yours, and that its okay.
Moving on is realizing you do not have to invalidate everything that happened because you are in different places now. Feelings cannot be erased, not matter what he says. If he said he cared, he did. If he said he loved, he did. If he said he loved laying in bed with you and talking about life, he did- but it's okay if he doesn't anymore. Things don't stay forever, feelings come and go, but moving on is being able to look back on the happy times without a bitter taste in your mouth- you deserve it. You deserve to look back fondly on something that made you happy.
Moving on is not one moment, but phases. Moving on is being able to look back at everything that happened, good, bad and indifferent, and instead of being mad and bitter, being happy. Being happy those experiences happened, being happy those lessons were taught, being happy that person was in your life for whatever reason. Moving on is realizing there is more out there for you; more love, more people, more experiences, more time, more everything. Moving on is simply letting go, breathing, coming up from whatever what suffocating you and letting yourself breathe- it's refreshing. I'm glad you did, babe.
Love, T
The Girl Who Moved On
