To the girl who can't seem to let go,
Heartbreak sucks, I know. It's probably the worst pain any human can endure to be completely honest. But just remember, this feeling does not last. Although at the moment it may feel like forever and it's hard to picture yourself in the future feeling any other way — it does pass. Time does heal and I can vouch for that. Don't feel as if it's expected for you to be over your heartbreak so quickly. You don't need to be over it right away — you shouldn't be actually. Don't try to suppress these feelings, because if you do, they will come back when they're least wanted. You're allowed to take all the time you need. So for right now, just let these feelings run its course and one day you'll slowly begin feeling like yourself again. While your heart is healing, I want you to remember a few things.
I just want to begin by saying, that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay. There's this habit of getting mad at people in general when they realize they don't want to be with you anymore. Right now you're probably angry because you spent precious time romanticizing something bigger with you and this person — of course, it's a natural reaction to be angry when you're left without any explanation or closure. That feeling knowing the person you once took a liking to and romanticized everything about, no longer wants to be with you anymore feels like a rip in the heart. It makes you question, "why don't they like me anymore?" But at this point, you need to recognize that it's not you — it's them.
You can't even begin to fathom how someone could ever make you feel this way, but I want you to remember that not everyone is like you. Not everyone is going to have the same heart as you do. You are one of a kind.
You may even be feeling lost and confused, wondering what you did wrong that made them leave, replaying scenarios over and over in your head, wondering what else you could've done to have made them stay.
But in reality, you didn't do anything to make them run away. All you did was love them too much and that still wasn't enough for them. It's not that you weren't "good enough" — it's because you were too good for them.
You're allowed to be angry, upset, and maybe even dislike that person at the moment. But do not let it get the best of you because in the end, that person was still someone you made extraordinary memories with and someone you shared a special connection with. Despite it all, you still loved and cared for that person — and a part of you still does. As hurt as you may be, don't spend so much time loathing or dwelling over your anger, because it'll only leave your kind heart bitter. I want you to take comfort in knowing the kind and good person you are.
Throughout this healing process, I also want you to be aware of your worth and value. Anyone would be lucky to be with you. You're worth so much more than to be put on the back burner. If they've taken you for granted now, they're never going to see your true value. If they don't see your potential now, then they don't deserve you later. If they fail to recognize the good they have in front of them, then they're not worth the time and energy. They don't deserve your big heart and the goodness you radiate.
Remember that actions speak louder than words. I don't want you to make the mistake of falling for words and promises sugar coated with false hope. You can't convince someone to like you or make them stay. If someone truly wants to be with you, then they'll show it. If you're giving more than what you're getting back, it's not worth it. You deserve to be loved and treated the way you want to be treated. Never lose sight of your worth and value.
Unfortunately, change is inevitable and a part of life — you either grow with a person or grow apart. You grow apart when you don't connect anymore. However, when you grow apart from someone, you only grow closer to others.
It's easier said than done, but don't fight for closure because sometimes you're not always going to get it — and maybe it's better that way. Sometimes it's better to just let things go and let things be. You have to find peace with whoever comes and goes from your life. Remember, you don't need anyone in order to move forward, except yourself. Once you're content with yourself, you will be okay.
I know it's hard to let go, but you have to in order to grow. Take this heartbreak as a gain, not a loss — look at it as a lesson. The love and heartbreak this person gave you have matured you into this ambitious person who is positive about what she wants out of a relationship. This a reminder that there are better things out there waiting for you.
It may feel like love has beat you up until you were black and blue, however, it did not destroy you. Of course, it's left you heartbroken and upset, but it hasn't left you bitter.
You're letting go of them, but keeping your happiness.
As Taylor Swift, the queen of knowing what heartbreak feels like would say, "She lost him but she found herself, and somehow that was everything."
Love,
The girl who learned that the trick to holding on, was all that letting go
