Hey you,

We haven't talked in a long time but I think of you often. I know you're off doing your own thing and that's great. I'm really happy for you and I check on you from time to time to see how things are. I know you might feel the same with me because I see you check my Snapchat even though we aren't friends anymore.

I guess I never thought it would be like this. When we met we hit it off immediately and became the best of friends quickly. After one conversation between us at work, we became inseparable. We did everything we could together and everything we did was always the best.

I was there for every heartbreak you went through. For guidance or just to listen to how you felt and let you cry. I wanted to be that person you could count on and know that I would be there to protect and defend you because that's what best friends do. You didn't do that for me. When my life started spiraling out of control, you weren't around when I needed you. You started to view me less as your best friend and more as a burden. I was changing because of my struggles and you didn't want to deal with it.

When my mom died, I called you first out of anyone in my life and you made it about you. When I got in legal trouble, you disappeared and I was no longer fun to hang out with. I needed a shoulder to cry on and you were never home. You didn't have time for me because of your obsession with your boyfriend. It was always him. That's the only person you ever wanted to hang out with, everything was a plan to get to him and when you finally got to him everything was about him.

You based your entire life and our friendship around a guy. I guess that worked out though, because you're married and congrats. I know I was supposed to be your maid of honor but I couldn't take you making me feel less than because of my loss and heartbreak. I couldn't be there anymore for all the times you let me down and for that I'm sorry.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't said anything. Would we still be best friends? Would our lives have gone on a different path together? Where would be now? Or would we still be here because ultimately you would have always put me second to your boyfriend? Who knows, but I think about it and you.

I guess I owe a thank you in many ways. You showed me what I don't want in friendship and what I needed. You helped me hit rock bottom so that I could work my way up. All of my 'good time' friends picked you and that helped me weed out who was really there for me. Being alone made me realize the severity of my heart break that caused me to move home. This move is what led me to my son. So I guess thank you for not being the friend I needed and not being there for me.

Without you treating me this way, I may never have gotten to where I am now and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wish you the best and maybe one our paths may cross again and our friendship could come together and grow the way it should. Most likely though, if we cross paths, we'll partake in the formalities and go our separate ways with a lasting goodbye and a wonder of what our friendship could have been had we both had handled situations differently. I guess we'll never know.

Love Always,

Me